James Chartrand is what one can say a successful author in a very competitive field of freelance writing. He is a regular contributor at copyblogger and his own blog Men with Pens is listed in the top 10 blogs for writers. But the success did not come easy for him. Not too long ago he was struggling to make the ends meet. He just came out of a bad relationship and has two daughters to care for as a single parent. He was earning just $8/week writing articles on the net. But he persisted and was doing better consistently. Despite his best efforts, he had hit a plateau in terms of earning. Then he decided to do something drastic. He made a conscious decision to switch his identity - he became a male. Yes, James is female and became James(it's her pseudonym) when (s)he decided to change her online identity. Not unexpectedly enough, James saw an increased respect and billing for her work. James would sometimes submit two resumes with both identities and invariably her male identity would get more interview calls, had more success getting the assignments and better rates. The story of James Chartrand in her own words can be found here.
Few years ago I was working in Dallas. My roommate was also my classmate while I was at WVU. One day he had a question - 'What is a good Indian name for a woman?'. I did not get the point of that question. So I asked him why he wanted a female name. He said that there was a woman at his work who was a consultant and her current work is about to come to an end. She seems to have trouble getting calls for prospective work. She felt that her identity as an African American was the cause. I sympathized with her as I have seen immigrants both male and female changing their identities especially names to more European/anglicized ones. But this was the first and only instance I have seen a US citizen resorting to a tactic of reverse identity change for reasons which are highly stereotypical. So she took an Indian identity following the stereotypical association of Indians being good with computers. I believe the reason for immigrants taking up anglicized names are similar - avoid being screened off of potential jobs, wanting to blend in and other reasons.
Women have taken up the identify of men in the distant and near past for reasons well known. The most popular is the Joan of Arc. Another lady Dorothy Lawrence was an English reporter who dressed up as a man to participate in the World War I. There are examples in folklore as well where women who have taken up identify as men. The story made famous by the Disney movie of the same name is that of Mulan based on a Chinese Ballad. It is interesting to note that all the above instances are of women dressing up as men to fight in wars. War catches attention like nothing else.
I am sure there were many other instances where women had taken up an identity as men in the ages where women rights were not honored and were legally not considered as equals to men. But after so much advancement and after successful women's rights movement, one would think that those stories are of the past and women do not have to resort to those sorts of measures. It is failure of our society to provide equal opportunities to women as those provided to men.
Is is a well known fact that gender wage gap exists. It appears to be a saving grace when you consider the fact that women fare better than men during recessions. More men tend to get laid off during recessions. But if you take a deeper look, it is only because more women work in recession proof jobs like those in education and health care whereas men are more employed in industries like manufacturing, banking and construction which get impacted by a recession more severely. So the 'faring better' fact can only be attrributable to the industries than the fact that society somehow sees women to be better working than men. Also the fact that women only earn about 80 cents to every dollar a man makes tends to sheild them from getting laid off. Moreover, women are less likely to negotiate than men, while women who do negotiate are seen in a negative light and tend to be penalized subtlely. It appears discrimination does exist and it will take some time before we call it quits on Equal Pay Day.
In the words of James Chartrand 'if just a name and perception of gender creates such different levels of respect and income for a person, it says a lot more about the world' we live in.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The gift that was not to be.
This Thursday when I reached work, on my port replicator was a small package. I was pleasantly surprised and quickly opened the lid on the cylinder box. I was about to open the contents in the see through polythene bag inside the box when my manager came to my desk. He talked about some project I was working one. Without thinking much, I had assumed it was a gift from him for the holidays.
I opened the contents in the plastic package and I found that it was decal. It was like an epiphany - the decal had the saying 'Family - is one that believes in one another'. My kid and the family are in India and I felt like this was a divine message for me. Epiphany or not, I decided to thank my mystery gift giver. I checked with my first suspect on my next meeting with him. My manager said that he did not and asked me to tell him if I find who it was as he found it amusing. I went around the work, preposterously thanking people only to be more desirous to solve the mystery when they said it was not them who was the generous gift giver.
As Murphy's laws states, you will find the thing you are looking for in the last place you look. So as one last attempt, I called my colleague who had already gone for the day. He said that it was he who placed the decal on my desk. The mystery had finally been resolved. I felt like Sherlock. But as it happens with me always, the story has a twist in the climax.
He mentioned that it was the item that I had ordered from him as part of his girl's Girl Scout donation drive at work. Well my euphoria was gone. It is not a gift as I had thought. But then again the story would be simple if it ends there. The item I had on my desk was not the one that I wanted. I had ordered a photo frame.
We have been in a photo and photo frame buying spree in the last few months. We have been decking the walls in our homes with the pictures of our baby. First it was the small frame for holding the regular 4X6 photo when the kid was 3 months. By the fifth month, the frames graduated to the 8X10 size. Recently, on the heels of my kid's sixth month, we have been to the picture people and were amazed by the quality of the pictures they take. We wanted to buy every picture they were showing us. They took about 16 good photos for 2 costumes. I am glad we did not take more costumes. Cooler senses prevailed after finding the price of each portrait-$18 per portrait picture. We still managed to end up buying 5 of them and the frame size graduated to the mighty 10X13. At this rate, we need to move to a new home like a mansion or something with really huge walls for the picture frames and their ever increasing sizes at the alarming rate of 35 sq. in./month((13*10-6*4) sq. in./(3 months)).
Since we were in this photo frame buying spree, I had ordered a picture frame from my colleague when he came for his daughter's girl scout donation drive. I wanted to kill two birds at the same time; bought the frames though they were expensive so I can feel good about contributing to charity. Santa must have said from the north pole -'Bad, Bad boy. No gift for you this year as you have been naughty'. Thus, the curtain had finally dropped on this drama in my life with me receiving an item I did not want in the guise of a deceiving epiphanous gift.
I opened the contents in the plastic package and I found that it was decal. It was like an epiphany - the decal had the saying 'Family - is one that believes in one another'. My kid and the family are in India and I felt like this was a divine message for me. Epiphany or not, I decided to thank my mystery gift giver. I checked with my first suspect on my next meeting with him. My manager said that he did not and asked me to tell him if I find who it was as he found it amusing. I went around the work, preposterously thanking people only to be more desirous to solve the mystery when they said it was not them who was the generous gift giver.
As Murphy's laws states, you will find the thing you are looking for in the last place you look. So as one last attempt, I called my colleague who had already gone for the day. He said that it was he who placed the decal on my desk. The mystery had finally been resolved. I felt like Sherlock. But as it happens with me always, the story has a twist in the climax.
He mentioned that it was the item that I had ordered from him as part of his girl's Girl Scout donation drive at work. Well my euphoria was gone. It is not a gift as I had thought. But then again the story would be simple if it ends there. The item I had on my desk was not the one that I wanted. I had ordered a photo frame.
We have been in a photo and photo frame buying spree in the last few months. We have been decking the walls in our homes with the pictures of our baby. First it was the small frame for holding the regular 4X6 photo when the kid was 3 months. By the fifth month, the frames graduated to the 8X10 size. Recently, on the heels of my kid's sixth month, we have been to the picture people and were amazed by the quality of the pictures they take. We wanted to buy every picture they were showing us. They took about 16 good photos for 2 costumes. I am glad we did not take more costumes. Cooler senses prevailed after finding the price of each portrait-$18 per portrait picture. We still managed to end up buying 5 of them and the frame size graduated to the mighty 10X13. At this rate, we need to move to a new home like a mansion or something with really huge walls for the picture frames and their ever increasing sizes at the alarming rate of 35 sq. in./month((13*10-6*4) sq. in./(3 months)).
Since we were in this photo frame buying spree, I had ordered a picture frame from my colleague when he came for his daughter's girl scout donation drive. I wanted to kill two birds at the same time; bought the frames though they were expensive so I can feel good about contributing to charity. Santa must have said from the north pole -'Bad, Bad boy. No gift for you this year as you have been naughty'. Thus, the curtain had finally dropped on this drama in my life with me receiving an item I did not want in the guise of a deceiving epiphanous gift.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Four games; a disappointing year; Psycho-analysis of an amateur sports fan.
The last four games I have watched of my Team's have been continued disappointment. Is it my timing or just a coincidence? Of course when you are follower of teams like those I do, disappointment becomes an acceptable part of life.
Game 1: India Vs Australia 5th ODI, 2009.
Australia set 351 as target and India were bundled out for 347 in the last over. Yet another grand display by the greatest cricketer of our times; Tendulkar scored 175. He was out before he could bring the team to the shore. Is Tendulkar on the wrong team or is he just not great enough to complete the huge task on his shoulders. If you look at the number of times he brought the team close enough to victory, the number of times he fell short is far greater than the times he was successful. The fact that the remaining 10 members in his 20 year career are duds is another part of Indian Cricket fan's pathetic life. Should selectors be blamed for this debacle. There were times when money was blamed. With 90% of world cricket's money in BCCI pockets, lack of money and talent cannot be the cause. What else? I know, I should stop watching cricket.
Game 2: WVU(Rank 25) vs Cincinnati(Rank 5) 11/13/2009.
This game has huge implications for WVU mountaineers if they want to stay alive in the hunt to lead Big East. The 'eers have proved time and again that when it comes to the games that matter, they come close enough but can never finish them off. Like the game against Pittsburgh in 2007 that had National Championship implications : they lost. It was also 100 anniversary of the Backyard Brawl. They could never take revenge the following year either. Similarly in 2008 they lost to USF. This year it is Cincinnati. The fact that an important play, during the game against Cinci this year, was turned over by poor officiating did not help the matters. The term 'Indisputable video evidence' is not clear to the officials on the field. The officials ruled that the play was a turnover at the WVU inches to touchdown line; the score was then 7-7. The video replay made the score to 7-14 against WVU awarding a touchdown to Cincinnati. The Mountaineers never recovered. They lost focus in the third quarter and let the Cincinnati win. WVU seems to have problems getting into a offensive rhythm in the second half especially in the third quarter. They often go scoreless in that quarter while conceding touchdowns to the opposite team. The offensive coordinator better take a took at his sorry state of play calling.
Game: Lakers(7-1) vs Nuggets(7-2) 11/13/2009.
The defending champions were coming off of a 6 game winning streak. This they have achieved without the services of their star future hall of fame Pau Gasol who is sidelined with an injury. Also Nuggets star player Carmelo Anthony had a poor offensive history against Lakers. With the addition of Artest it appeared that they could clearly shut him down this time too and the winning momentum was with the Lakers. Atleast that is the theory. As it says, that is theory and things don't happen the way they are supposed to. Kobe was completely shutdown in the second quarter. Carmelo had a great game offensively and none of the Lakers contributed much offensively. Defensively the performance was lacklustre at best. The result was a 105-79 drubbing of the Lakers by the Nuggets. This was a biggest margin of loss for Lakers in some time.
But I think the problem lies here. Unlike die hard fans, I am a regular guy who likes sports. The trouble with sports fans like me is the same as that of amateur investors. Amateur investors continually lose money on their trades. This is how they typically invest. They watch the news and other investing media of their choice regularly. They are not the leaders in picking stocks nor are they good at predicting trends. They watch a trend on the sidelines, they want to test the waters but are afraid of losing their money. So they wait and wait and wait, and finally they put some money on the observed trend. But they are too late now. The party is over and they are there to clean up the mess. The trend retraces and they lose money. This can go for longs and shorts as well.
Similar is the fate of sports fans like me. They have a set of teams they like. We don't have to debate why they like those teams. They are not even ardent die hard fans though they are decent enough to pass off as knowledgeable. So they follow their teams like WVU mountaineers for example. They see that the Mountaineers have won their first 4 games of the season. They get excited, they go to ESPN and check the team schedule and find that they are playing USF next Saturday. They forget or are not aware that, the first half of the season is loaded with really small teams and their team kicks ass against them. So come Saturday they are hugely disappointed when the watch their beloved Mountaineers team struggle against the USF. The Mountaineers lose the game and the miserable fan swears that he will not watch them for some time. His focus shifts to NBA like say Lakers. The Lakers have a huge streak of 6 games. But the law of averages dictates that even the Best team loses to a Bad team. So the Lakers lose. In the mean time, the Mountaineers have 2 back to back wins. The fan who was disappointed watching the game against USF is rejuvenated and gets ready for the game against Cinci. By this time, the Mountaineers are well into the second half of the season where they play really tough teams and every game has important implications. The chances that they will lose a game are close to 50%. The fact that the Mountaineers have won 2 back to back, brings the odds of WVU losing to a better ranked Cinci to more than 80%. But again our sports fan is an average next door guy. He just wants to be on the winning side just like our amateur investor and ends up being late to the party perennially. All he wants is bragging rights at work when his team wins; but bragging rights is a very limited commodity. The saga of the sports fan disappointment continues.
Game 1: India Vs Australia 5th ODI, 2009.
Australia set 351 as target and India were bundled out for 347 in the last over. Yet another grand display by the greatest cricketer of our times; Tendulkar scored 175. He was out before he could bring the team to the shore. Is Tendulkar on the wrong team or is he just not great enough to complete the huge task on his shoulders. If you look at the number of times he brought the team close enough to victory, the number of times he fell short is far greater than the times he was successful. The fact that the remaining 10 members in his 20 year career are duds is another part of Indian Cricket fan's pathetic life. Should selectors be blamed for this debacle. There were times when money was blamed. With 90% of world cricket's money in BCCI pockets, lack of money and talent cannot be the cause. What else? I know, I should stop watching cricket.
Game 2: WVU(Rank 25) vs Cincinnati(Rank 5) 11/13/2009.
This game has huge implications for WVU mountaineers if they want to stay alive in the hunt to lead Big East. The 'eers have proved time and again that when it comes to the games that matter, they come close enough but can never finish them off. Like the game against Pittsburgh in 2007 that had National Championship implications : they lost. It was also 100 anniversary of the Backyard Brawl. They could never take revenge the following year either. Similarly in 2008 they lost to USF. This year it is Cincinnati. The fact that an important play, during the game against Cinci this year, was turned over by poor officiating did not help the matters. The term 'Indisputable video evidence' is not clear to the officials on the field. The officials ruled that the play was a turnover at the WVU inches to touchdown line; the score was then 7-7. The video replay made the score to 7-14 against WVU awarding a touchdown to Cincinnati. The Mountaineers never recovered. They lost focus in the third quarter and let the Cincinnati win. WVU seems to have problems getting into a offensive rhythm in the second half especially in the third quarter. They often go scoreless in that quarter while conceding touchdowns to the opposite team. The offensive coordinator better take a took at his sorry state of play calling.
Game: Lakers(7-1) vs Nuggets(7-2) 11/13/2009.
The defending champions were coming off of a 6 game winning streak. This they have achieved without the services of their star future hall of fame Pau Gasol who is sidelined with an injury. Also Nuggets star player Carmelo Anthony had a poor offensive history against Lakers. With the addition of Artest it appeared that they could clearly shut him down this time too and the winning momentum was with the Lakers. Atleast that is the theory. As it says, that is theory and things don't happen the way they are supposed to. Kobe was completely shutdown in the second quarter. Carmelo had a great game offensively and none of the Lakers contributed much offensively. Defensively the performance was lacklustre at best. The result was a 105-79 drubbing of the Lakers by the Nuggets. This was a biggest margin of loss for Lakers in some time.
Phillies Vs. Yankees - MLB World Series Championship 6th game.
The Phillies lost 7-3. It was a drubbing by a single Japanese player named Hideki Matsui. After 3 games I had thought, the Phillies were going for a Repeat. That euphoria was short when I started watching baseball(Shh... I dont like baseball much). Phillies lost the series without much of a fight.
The first two games were at least entertaining. It gave hope while they lasted. But there are problems with hope. It causes long lasting heartbreak. While a drubbing is easily forgotten, atleast in the pre-season. While a drubbing; like the one India received against Sri Lanka during the 1996 World Cup; the one that WVU got against Pittsburgh in 2007; the one the Lakers received against Pistons in the championship series 5th game of 2004; can never be forgotten.
I guess I had more than my allowed dose of disappointments for this year. May be I should quit watching games for this year and plead with my Disappointment Doctor to stop that medication on me.But I think the problem lies here. Unlike die hard fans, I am a regular guy who likes sports. The trouble with sports fans like me is the same as that of amateur investors. Amateur investors continually lose money on their trades. This is how they typically invest. They watch the news and other investing media of their choice regularly. They are not the leaders in picking stocks nor are they good at predicting trends. They watch a trend on the sidelines, they want to test the waters but are afraid of losing their money. So they wait and wait and wait, and finally they put some money on the observed trend. But they are too late now. The party is over and they are there to clean up the mess. The trend retraces and they lose money. This can go for longs and shorts as well.
Similar is the fate of sports fans like me. They have a set of teams they like. We don't have to debate why they like those teams. They are not even ardent die hard fans though they are decent enough to pass off as knowledgeable. So they follow their teams like WVU mountaineers for example. They see that the Mountaineers have won their first 4 games of the season. They get excited, they go to ESPN and check the team schedule and find that they are playing USF next Saturday. They forget or are not aware that, the first half of the season is loaded with really small teams and their team kicks ass against them. So come Saturday they are hugely disappointed when the watch their beloved Mountaineers team struggle against the USF. The Mountaineers lose the game and the miserable fan swears that he will not watch them for some time. His focus shifts to NBA like say Lakers. The Lakers have a huge streak of 6 games. But the law of averages dictates that even the Best team loses to a Bad team. So the Lakers lose. In the mean time, the Mountaineers have 2 back to back wins. The fan who was disappointed watching the game against USF is rejuvenated and gets ready for the game against Cinci. By this time, the Mountaineers are well into the second half of the season where they play really tough teams and every game has important implications. The chances that they will lose a game are close to 50%. The fact that the Mountaineers have won 2 back to back, brings the odds of WVU losing to a better ranked Cinci to more than 80%. But again our sports fan is an average next door guy. He just wants to be on the winning side just like our amateur investor and ends up being late to the party perennially. All he wants is bragging rights at work when his team wins; but bragging rights is a very limited commodity. The saga of the sports fan disappointment continues.
Labels:
Cricket India,
Lakers,
Mountaineers,
Phillies,
Sports fan
Sunday, November 8, 2009
My Tryst with a Non-English speaking Hispanic Barber
The haircut I get from the franchise stores in US have been unsatisfactory and never made the cut(get it, hair'cut' did not make the 'cut') to the standards set by the barber from my hometown. The hair is either cut too short, too long, not uniform, not blended leaving steps between the sides and the top or a combination of all. One of the things that I miss from my childhood is a good haircut and you can find here how my last visit home to my barber turned out to be a humbling experience .
A month or so after my vacation from India, I visited my brother in Philly. He moved a little South of the South Philly region after a incident at this old apartment which I chronicled here. In my instinctive manner, I decided to explore the area and the neighborhood to find a decent(read cheap) haircut. Philly is a city of neighborhoods. But if you have lived in the city for enough time, you will know that the hoods and neighborhoods are not well demarcated. You can quickly find yourself in a hood by walking a block in the wrong direction. So it is truly a city of Hoods within Neighborhoods. He lives a block away from the world famous Geno's Philly cheese steaks. The owner of the Geno's steaks was the one who brought Philly to the national news headlines in 2006, by starting a English only ordering policy. South Philly has long been a place where immigrants settled down. Once a Italian American majority neighborhood is fast turning out to be a Latin and Asian immigrant neighborhood as it offers 'reasonably priced rowhouses'. We can see the xenophobia caused by this immigrant influx to this neighborhood. If you go a block or two North of Gino's steakhouse you will find most business are owned by Hispanic and Asians.
Since I have made up my mind of having a haircut, I started walking north of Geno's. A block away I found a barbershop. I walked in and was surprised to see Hombre - $10 on a makeshift cardboard price chart. My beginners Spanish class, I took in 2004 when I was living in Pittsburgh, came in handy. I remembered Hombre meant man/men and the price was only $10. I deemed the business safe after a quick visual scan. The cheap price tag might have deceived my survival instincts as I have not had a haircut that cheap in a longtime. The last time I had a haircut for $10 was in Dallas way back in 2004-2005 at a salon also run by a Hispanic. My recent haircut cost me almost $20 on my visit to India. I decided to give my head to the barber who looked like a Mexican warlord, we shall call him Jose from now, in some spaghetti western movies ff the sixties. I was clearly on a high - the one you get on finding bargains while shopping at a mall where you end up buying lot more than you need and paying as much or more than you had set out to when looking for the items you need.
There were two barbers inside, a male and female. They were busy giving a haircut to other customers who were clearly Hispanic looking. I sat at the waiting chairs with my brother for my turn. Then come two other Hispanic looking men, talking something is Spanish to the guy and leave few minutes later. I could make nothing of their conversation. I patiently waited my turn. When the previous customer left, I asked the male barber how much the haircut was to confirm my knowledge from the price board. He sternly replied 'No Habla Ingles' and goes inside without saying anything more. I was clearly surprised and disturbed by this. I was lost like the Jilebee kid below.
I felt helpless, but did not want to let go of the bargain I found. I waited for him to comeback out again. Our male barber Jose comes out in about five minutes after cleaning some brushes and combs inside. I showed some signs with my hands, something that shows scissors across the hair to tell him I need a haircut. This was followed by a thumbs up sign asking how much the haircut was. I then said diez with all my ten fingers up asking if the price was 10. Saying si, Jose walks past me to the wall behind me. There he showed me a board with images of heads of men displaying different hairstyles. I felt like a customer at some chinese restaurants where you have to order by numbers like D3 for hot and sour soup and F5 for General Tso's chicken. I consulted with my brother for sometime and we narrowed down to two heads. I eventually chose one which my brother did not agree on, but I went with it anyway. I showed him the head and gestured that is what I want. He motioned to me as if to say 'Are you ready for this?' and I walked behind him feeling like a proverbial turkey.
Jose got me seated on the chair and prepared me for the cut. I said what I usually say - 'Number 3 on the sides and back, Scissors on the top and blend' for my haircut. He understood none of what I said and had a smirk as if to say 'You showed the picture and that is enough. I know what I am doing'. But I had my reservations. He used the clippers and spent almost 15 mins on just trimming the sides and back. 15 minutes is what most barbers spent on an entire haircut including the billing process. I was very impressed. He changed the clippers about six times. I felt special like my old barber used to make me feel. I had found my mango like the kid below.
My relaxed state of mind was short lived. Jose applied some white powder and began to brush off the loose hair off of my head. At this point I had a military crew cut except that my hair on the top is lot longer. I was thinking, where else can I go now to get my hair fixed. The hair on the top of my head was not trimmed at all and not blended. I looked like a punk guitarist in some crazy rock band. I cannot go to work the next day like that. So I decided to protest. I turned 90 degrees and said 'Not done. Blend with scissors on top'. My Mexican villain Jose was not willing to listen and continued brushing my face. Since I had turned 90 degrees, he brushed right through my eyes and muttered something angrily which I could not comprehend. But from the tone of it, I thought I better be quite and let him complete. If I survive, I can go somewhere tomorrow to have my hair fixed or go with a cap or something to work. Have resigned to this thought, I turned front towards the mirror to let him complete his job while rubbing my left eye that had a brush with, well a real brush.
Jose opened a new blade but a very old style stainless steel blade - one which my Dad used to shave when I was a kid. He started trimming the hair line and side burns. Seeing the stainless steel blade made me nostalgic. I quickly recollected my first shave-a very awful one when I think about it - it was with a similar blade. I think it was a 7 O’Clock Super Platinum or a Swish. A collection of images of all old Indian razor blade covers can be found here. Jose threw the blade in a dustbin and I was sure that he was done now.
To my surprise he wasn't done. He took a pair of scissors out. I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God for saving me from a back to back humiliation in the hands of barbers. I felt like the deers running with P.T.Usha; Free from anxiety of the impending humiliation.
He rolled his index and middle fingers between my hair above the forehead gesturing if that was short enough. My 'Si' came with euphoric air that could have gone hardly unnoticed. He continued with trimming my hair, switching multiple scissors to make sure the hair blended properly. I believe he had used three scissors in all. What impressed me more than the number of scissors was the flair with which he used the scissors. I was convinced he was a master of his trade. The sweet schick schick sound that the scissors made while he was trimming the hair was music to my ears. I had longed years to hear that music. I was in dream land singing the song of Mile Sur Mera Tumara
to the tune of Baje Sargam
Jose spent about 45 minutes on my hair. This was the most anyone including myself had committed to it. I gave Jose the $10 and tipped him very generously. My brother agreed with me on the mastery of Jose's skills in his trade. I has been some time and I am longing for some more of his music. Guess I am going there soon.
P.S.: Here are some pictures of people from old Doordarshan times. I recognize some faces like Minu, but other are too old for me as well.
A month or so after my vacation from India, I visited my brother in Philly. He moved a little South of the South Philly region after a incident at this old apartment which I chronicled here. In my instinctive manner, I decided to explore the area and the neighborhood to find a decent(read cheap) haircut. Philly is a city of neighborhoods. But if you have lived in the city for enough time, you will know that the hoods and neighborhoods are not well demarcated. You can quickly find yourself in a hood by walking a block in the wrong direction. So it is truly a city of Hoods within Neighborhoods. He lives a block away from the world famous Geno's Philly cheese steaks. The owner of the Geno's steaks was the one who brought Philly to the national news headlines in 2006, by starting a English only ordering policy. South Philly has long been a place where immigrants settled down. Once a Italian American majority neighborhood is fast turning out to be a Latin and Asian immigrant neighborhood as it offers 'reasonably priced rowhouses'. We can see the xenophobia caused by this immigrant influx to this neighborhood. If you go a block or two North of Gino's steakhouse you will find most business are owned by Hispanic and Asians.
Since I have made up my mind of having a haircut, I started walking north of Geno's. A block away I found a barbershop. I walked in and was surprised to see Hombre - $10 on a makeshift cardboard price chart. My beginners Spanish class, I took in 2004 when I was living in Pittsburgh, came in handy. I remembered Hombre meant man/men and the price was only $10. I deemed the business safe after a quick visual scan. The cheap price tag might have deceived my survival instincts as I have not had a haircut that cheap in a longtime. The last time I had a haircut for $10 was in Dallas way back in 2004-2005 at a salon also run by a Hispanic. My recent haircut cost me almost $20 on my visit to India. I decided to give my head to the barber who looked like a Mexican warlord, we shall call him Jose from now, in some spaghetti western movies ff the sixties. I was clearly on a high - the one you get on finding bargains while shopping at a mall where you end up buying lot more than you need and paying as much or more than you had set out to when looking for the items you need.
There were two barbers inside, a male and female. They were busy giving a haircut to other customers who were clearly Hispanic looking. I sat at the waiting chairs with my brother for my turn. Then come two other Hispanic looking men, talking something is Spanish to the guy and leave few minutes later. I could make nothing of their conversation. I patiently waited my turn. When the previous customer left, I asked the male barber how much the haircut was to confirm my knowledge from the price board. He sternly replied 'No Habla Ingles' and goes inside without saying anything more. I was clearly surprised and disturbed by this. I was lost like the Jilebee kid below.
I felt helpless, but did not want to let go of the bargain I found. I waited for him to comeback out again. Our male barber Jose comes out in about five minutes after cleaning some brushes and combs inside. I showed some signs with my hands, something that shows scissors across the hair to tell him I need a haircut. This was followed by a thumbs up sign asking how much the haircut was. I then said diez with all my ten fingers up asking if the price was 10. Saying si, Jose walks past me to the wall behind me. There he showed me a board with images of heads of men displaying different hairstyles. I felt like a customer at some chinese restaurants where you have to order by numbers like D3 for hot and sour soup and F5 for General Tso's chicken. I consulted with my brother for sometime and we narrowed down to two heads. I eventually chose one which my brother did not agree on, but I went with it anyway. I showed him the head and gestured that is what I want. He motioned to me as if to say 'Are you ready for this?' and I walked behind him feeling like a proverbial turkey.
Jose got me seated on the chair and prepared me for the cut. I said what I usually say - 'Number 3 on the sides and back, Scissors on the top and blend' for my haircut. He understood none of what I said and had a smirk as if to say 'You showed the picture and that is enough. I know what I am doing'. But I had my reservations. He used the clippers and spent almost 15 mins on just trimming the sides and back. 15 minutes is what most barbers spent on an entire haircut including the billing process. I was very impressed. He changed the clippers about six times. I felt special like my old barber used to make me feel. I had found my mango like the kid below.
My relaxed state of mind was short lived. Jose applied some white powder and began to brush off the loose hair off of my head. At this point I had a military crew cut except that my hair on the top is lot longer. I was thinking, where else can I go now to get my hair fixed. The hair on the top of my head was not trimmed at all and not blended. I looked like a punk guitarist in some crazy rock band. I cannot go to work the next day like that. So I decided to protest. I turned 90 degrees and said 'Not done. Blend with scissors on top'. My Mexican villain Jose was not willing to listen and continued brushing my face. Since I had turned 90 degrees, he brushed right through my eyes and muttered something angrily which I could not comprehend. But from the tone of it, I thought I better be quite and let him complete. If I survive, I can go somewhere tomorrow to have my hair fixed or go with a cap or something to work. Have resigned to this thought, I turned front towards the mirror to let him complete his job while rubbing my left eye that had a brush with, well a real brush.
Jose opened a new blade but a very old style stainless steel blade - one which my Dad used to shave when I was a kid. He started trimming the hair line and side burns. Seeing the stainless steel blade made me nostalgic. I quickly recollected my first shave-a very awful one when I think about it - it was with a similar blade. I think it was a 7 O’Clock Super Platinum or a Swish. A collection of images of all old Indian razor blade covers can be found here. Jose threw the blade in a dustbin and I was sure that he was done now.
To my surprise he wasn't done. He took a pair of scissors out. I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God for saving me from a back to back humiliation in the hands of barbers. I felt like the deers running with P.T.Usha; Free from anxiety of the impending humiliation.
He rolled his index and middle fingers between my hair above the forehead gesturing if that was short enough. My 'Si' came with euphoric air that could have gone hardly unnoticed. He continued with trimming my hair, switching multiple scissors to make sure the hair blended properly. I believe he had used three scissors in all. What impressed me more than the number of scissors was the flair with which he used the scissors. I was convinced he was a master of his trade. The sweet schick schick sound that the scissors made while he was trimming the hair was music to my ears. I had longed years to hear that music. I was in dream land singing the song of Mile Sur Mera Tumara
to the tune of Baje Sargam
Jose spent about 45 minutes on my hair. This was the most anyone including myself had committed to it. I gave Jose the $10 and tipped him very generously. My brother agreed with me on the mastery of Jose's skills in his trade. I has been some time and I am longing for some more of his music. Guess I am going there soon.
P.S.: Here are some pictures of people from old Doordarshan times. I recognize some faces like Minu, but other are too old for me as well.
Labels:
Barber,
Haircut,
Liviing in US,
Naturalization
Saturday, November 7, 2009
India Rising, and so is my Barber.
Few months ago I took a short two and half week vacation to India. My visit to India has come after a long gap of about four years. The changes that came about in my hometown caught me my surprise. The country and my hometown are undergoing a transformation and there are huge infrastructural changes in works. New roads, underground drainage, flyovers construction, new telephone lines have made the daily commute a night mare. This and other societal changes are happening at a rapid pace.
One thing that I look forward to, among other things during the visit to my hometown, is a haircut from my favorite barber. In my childhood we had a barber come in to our home for a haircut. The barber who my dad appointed to do our haircuts at home was older than my Dad. So his haircuts were very traditional and left the hair very short. This changed with the onset of teenage. I wanted to assert my independence and I felt that the barber was doing only a traditional cut that were fashionable enough. I needed a more contemporary haircut and decided that a change was due. I started going to the barber shop at the end of our street. I liked the haircuts at this shop and I became a regular customer until I moved out of town. There were many reasons why I liked my haircut here. The haircut was contemporary, the barber was a teenager who was in touch with the current trends, and most of all I got the latest gossip on the happenings in our street. Not to say, I had some good memories of my teenage and early adult life from this place.
So every time I visit my hometown, I make it a point to get a haircut at this barbershop. The added bonus was it gives me a latest on people that I know with who I am no longer in touch. This time the experience was something different. My schedule was hectic and I wanted nothing more than a quick haircut. I went there and found that the shanty barbershop I remembered had undergone a sea change like the rest of the country. Like a butterfly, the small barbershop with 2 chairs and some mirrors had transformed to a multi-chaired, AC equipped, full fledged beauty salon with about 10 employees. Meaning it was not just a barbershop anymore, you can get haircut, hair dye, massage, facials etc. It was no longer a shop only for men. The barbershop was undergoing expansion to provide services to the ladies with more employees and there was visible construction work going on. The then teenage barber who did my haircut when I was young is all grown up. He was supervising the work, gave me a customary hello and said that his brother would take care of me. He was obviously doing well for himself and it was very visible from the way he carried himself and his bling. His fingers were loaded with gold rings and had a heavy shiny gold chain round his neck. There was no hiding his ostentation's.
I go in and was greeted by his brother. He had me seated on a high, cushioned chair. The room was Air Conditioned. My barber's brother apparently doesn't do a haircut either. He only supervises and takes care of important people. That made me feel superior. With my bloated ego, I had my hair cut started. He started telling me the gossip and I was listening. Somehow I got convinced that I needed a dye. I thought how much can a dye cost. A regular haircut costs (Rs.50) and dye may be double that. I thought I have enough and agreed. While this was going on, he started taking about, the black heads on my nose and white heads on my chin. I had no idea what they were. He said that a facial would rejuvenate my skin, and I would look very fresh for 2 weeks straight without a shower. I did not believe that, but persistence has its way of convincing the toughest nut. The kid was believe me persistent. I asked how much time it would take, he said only 15 minutes. He said this without a blink. The important matter of taking my Dad to the dialysis could wait 15 minutes. Besides how much more can a facial cost, triple the cost of a haircut? Sure I have 300 bucks for all of it. Not exactly.
A 30 minute haircut, turned out to be a 2 hour full blown trip to a salon. My family while I was away began to worry as it was getting late and I had not been out of home for such a long time. I had not carried a phone and the front desk guy at the barber shop did not know my brother-in-law who was sent by my mom searching for me. That put me to shame. The shame that followed was nothing compared to the shame put by my family searching for me. When all this was done, my care taker got me the receipt like you get in a restaurant. I opened the book and was shocked at the amount - Rs. 1000. The receipt read - Rs.50 for a haircut, Rs. 250 for a dye, and Rs.700 for the facial. I had never spent that much money on a haircut visit anywhere before. But that was not the matter, I only had Rs.400 on me. The visions of cleaning pots and pans in restaurants by unpaid customers were before me. What would these guys make me do? Hair cut to waiting customers or mop the floor.
I somehow managed to bring down the bill to Rs.800. I paid Rs.300 and got out of there with Rs.500 in debt to my barber. I repaid him the next day of course. I did not reveal this adventure to my family as that would put me in a storm of sympathy and tirade at the same time. I did not need that after the humiliation.
I later found that my barber from teenage times is actually doing very well for himself. His net take home income runs into Rs. 50K/month, he is the president of the Visakhapatnam Barbers association and is very active politically in his class. The only saving grace was that my wife felt that I looked fresh despite my whining about the dust and smoke on the roads in India. Looks like that facial did actually work after all.
One thing that I look forward to, among other things during the visit to my hometown, is a haircut from my favorite barber. In my childhood we had a barber come in to our home for a haircut. The barber who my dad appointed to do our haircuts at home was older than my Dad. So his haircuts were very traditional and left the hair very short. This changed with the onset of teenage. I wanted to assert my independence and I felt that the barber was doing only a traditional cut that were fashionable enough. I needed a more contemporary haircut and decided that a change was due. I started going to the barber shop at the end of our street. I liked the haircuts at this shop and I became a regular customer until I moved out of town. There were many reasons why I liked my haircut here. The haircut was contemporary, the barber was a teenager who was in touch with the current trends, and most of all I got the latest gossip on the happenings in our street. Not to say, I had some good memories of my teenage and early adult life from this place.
So every time I visit my hometown, I make it a point to get a haircut at this barbershop. The added bonus was it gives me a latest on people that I know with who I am no longer in touch. This time the experience was something different. My schedule was hectic and I wanted nothing more than a quick haircut. I went there and found that the shanty barbershop I remembered had undergone a sea change like the rest of the country. Like a butterfly, the small barbershop with 2 chairs and some mirrors had transformed to a multi-chaired, AC equipped, full fledged beauty salon with about 10 employees. Meaning it was not just a barbershop anymore, you can get haircut, hair dye, massage, facials etc. It was no longer a shop only for men. The barbershop was undergoing expansion to provide services to the ladies with more employees and there was visible construction work going on. The then teenage barber who did my haircut when I was young is all grown up. He was supervising the work, gave me a customary hello and said that his brother would take care of me. He was obviously doing well for himself and it was very visible from the way he carried himself and his bling. His fingers were loaded with gold rings and had a heavy shiny gold chain round his neck. There was no hiding his ostentation's.
I go in and was greeted by his brother. He had me seated on a high, cushioned chair. The room was Air Conditioned. My barber's brother apparently doesn't do a haircut either. He only supervises and takes care of important people. That made me feel superior. With my bloated ego, I had my hair cut started. He started telling me the gossip and I was listening. Somehow I got convinced that I needed a dye. I thought how much can a dye cost. A regular haircut costs (Rs.50) and dye may be double that. I thought I have enough and agreed. While this was going on, he started taking about, the black heads on my nose and white heads on my chin. I had no idea what they were. He said that a facial would rejuvenate my skin, and I would look very fresh for 2 weeks straight without a shower. I did not believe that, but persistence has its way of convincing the toughest nut. The kid was believe me persistent. I asked how much time it would take, he said only 15 minutes. He said this without a blink. The important matter of taking my Dad to the dialysis could wait 15 minutes. Besides how much more can a facial cost, triple the cost of a haircut? Sure I have 300 bucks for all of it. Not exactly.
A 30 minute haircut, turned out to be a 2 hour full blown trip to a salon. My family while I was away began to worry as it was getting late and I had not been out of home for such a long time. I had not carried a phone and the front desk guy at the barber shop did not know my brother-in-law who was sent by my mom searching for me. That put me to shame. The shame that followed was nothing compared to the shame put by my family searching for me. When all this was done, my care taker got me the receipt like you get in a restaurant. I opened the book and was shocked at the amount - Rs. 1000. The receipt read - Rs.50 for a haircut, Rs. 250 for a dye, and Rs.700 for the facial. I had never spent that much money on a haircut visit anywhere before. But that was not the matter, I only had Rs.400 on me. The visions of cleaning pots and pans in restaurants by unpaid customers were before me. What would these guys make me do? Hair cut to waiting customers or mop the floor.
I somehow managed to bring down the bill to Rs.800. I paid Rs.300 and got out of there with Rs.500 in debt to my barber. I repaid him the next day of course. I did not reveal this adventure to my family as that would put me in a storm of sympathy and tirade at the same time. I did not need that after the humiliation.
I later found that my barber from teenage times is actually doing very well for himself. His net take home income runs into Rs. 50K/month, he is the president of the Visakhapatnam Barbers association and is very active politically in his class. The only saving grace was that my wife felt that I looked fresh despite my whining about the dust and smoke on the roads in India. Looks like that facial did actually work after all.
Labels:
India Rising
Monday, November 2, 2009
Why are Immigrants apologetic to questions about their Native Country?
Last week as part of our colleague birthday celebration I was at a restaurant with about ten colleagues. The group consisted of people from three continents - North America (USA-5), Europe (Britain-2), Asia (India-2, China-1). As always when such a big and diverse group meets, there are bound to have multiple discussions and questions about the other persons country and culture. One discussion was happening around the food from each continent and one guy from UK was asking (rather stating) how Indian food is typically eaten with hands without use of spoon or other cutlery. An Indian colleague in the discussion instantly responded with a cliched response that 'Things were changing and they are not the same'. This she said without hearing this from our English colleague - 'It's rather very cool, I think'; the IT here is eating with hands. I was at the far end of the table and was just a mere listener to it as I was involved in another discussion - that of the Chinese international students (She was an Intern on our team) struggle to find a job in USA.
I am an immigrant from India and am faced with such questions all the time. I will not list the most commonly asked questions about India and Indian Culture. The questions could be patronizing and derogatory at times, but most times they are just questions by people trying to know the immigrants culture and to just carry a conversation. But the point of my rant here are not the questions. It is about the response to these questions by immigrants about their Country. These responses tend to be defensive and almost always apologetic in tone. When I say apologetic, I don't mean literally they say 'I am sorry' but that would be hilarious. It is rather in a sense that they are begging to say sorry about the behavior of their fellow native country citizens.
Why do Immigrants respond that way? What makes them defensive? I think the answer is very difficult as every individual has his own reasons, and every individual behaves differently in different situations. I try not to be judgmental, but I think the reasons are
1. Immigrants want to portray their best side.
It is as if the immigrant is on first date with someone who is far better than him and is lucky to sit on the same table. This comes from the deep psychological gratitude that these immigrants have for the immigrant officer who let them in. They constantly remind themselves the struggles they and their immigrant wannabes go through to reach this promised land. The gratitude is extended to the people of the land and this goes for years. So as if in a date with a very unreachable hotter opposite sex, the urge to be nice and show the best side is never lost.
2. The need to disassociate with any negative aspects of the native land.
The feeling that immigrants are in some ways better than the ones they left behind is the cause of this thinking. There is widespread notion that immigrants somehow are the cream of the native nation. Though there is some reality to it, I would not consider every Indian immigrant the cream of India. Most are far from being the cream. But somehow this notion exists and could lead to the belief of the immigrant that he is not the same like the ones in his country. So any negatives that happen in the native land are solely that of the people living in that country and not his. But the immigrant is also to fight the reality that the people asking the question does not differentiate him from his country. To them the immigrant and the nation are the same. This paradox is fought by the immigrant by explaining that the situations are changing and though those negative things happen he is not responsible and he would like to apologize for the shortcomings of his native citizenry.
3. Colonial guilt to show to west that they are developing.
The colonized people have this urge to prove to the west that they can develop on their own. They always try to show the positive sides of themselves like how old their culture is, the superior family values etc. There was a huge uproar in India when Slumdog Millionaire was released in India as it showed India in a bad light to the western world. A friend of my mine wrote a good post on the possible explanations for this outrage. The fact that there are a lot more realistic movies made by Indian film makers are quickly forgotten. They are fine with that as long as the target audience is Indian. The artistic talents of the movie maker are also applauded, but are quickly hurt when something similar is made by an outsider showing the darker side. Similarly they are hurt when an outsider especially when a westerner asks a question of something that is perceived as negative.
So what is the correct response?
There is never a right response. But here are certain clues that can help. Most people don't care what you answer. Just have fun with it. Make up some hilarious stories, like 'You have a pet elephant that would drop you to school daily'. Bring your creativity out and have some fun while you are at it. You can always say you were kidding at the end. I am just kidding. If you do not know the real facts, just say you do not know. You do not have to be nice all the time. It is fine to accept the realities, it is not a reflection on you. You are not forgoing your patriotic feelings for your home country by accepting the short comings.
I am an immigrant from India and am faced with such questions all the time. I will not list the most commonly asked questions about India and Indian Culture. The questions could be patronizing and derogatory at times, but most times they are just questions by people trying to know the immigrants culture and to just carry a conversation. But the point of my rant here are not the questions. It is about the response to these questions by immigrants about their Country. These responses tend to be defensive and almost always apologetic in tone. When I say apologetic, I don't mean literally they say 'I am sorry' but that would be hilarious. It is rather in a sense that they are begging to say sorry about the behavior of their fellow native country citizens.
Why do Immigrants respond that way? What makes them defensive? I think the answer is very difficult as every individual has his own reasons, and every individual behaves differently in different situations. I try not to be judgmental, but I think the reasons are
1. Immigrants want to portray their best side.
It is as if the immigrant is on first date with someone who is far better than him and is lucky to sit on the same table. This comes from the deep psychological gratitude that these immigrants have for the immigrant officer who let them in. They constantly remind themselves the struggles they and their immigrant wannabes go through to reach this promised land. The gratitude is extended to the people of the land and this goes for years. So as if in a date with a very unreachable hotter opposite sex, the urge to be nice and show the best side is never lost.
2. The need to disassociate with any negative aspects of the native land.
The feeling that immigrants are in some ways better than the ones they left behind is the cause of this thinking. There is widespread notion that immigrants somehow are the cream of the native nation. Though there is some reality to it, I would not consider every Indian immigrant the cream of India. Most are far from being the cream. But somehow this notion exists and could lead to the belief of the immigrant that he is not the same like the ones in his country. So any negatives that happen in the native land are solely that of the people living in that country and not his. But the immigrant is also to fight the reality that the people asking the question does not differentiate him from his country. To them the immigrant and the nation are the same. This paradox is fought by the immigrant by explaining that the situations are changing and though those negative things happen he is not responsible and he would like to apologize for the shortcomings of his native citizenry.
3. Colonial guilt to show to west that they are developing.
The colonized people have this urge to prove to the west that they can develop on their own. They always try to show the positive sides of themselves like how old their culture is, the superior family values etc. There was a huge uproar in India when Slumdog Millionaire was released in India as it showed India in a bad light to the western world. A friend of my mine wrote a good post on the possible explanations for this outrage. The fact that there are a lot more realistic movies made by Indian film makers are quickly forgotten. They are fine with that as long as the target audience is Indian. The artistic talents of the movie maker are also applauded, but are quickly hurt when something similar is made by an outsider showing the darker side. Similarly they are hurt when an outsider especially when a westerner asks a question of something that is perceived as negative.
So what is the correct response?
There is never a right response. But here are certain clues that can help. Most people don't care what you answer. Just have fun with it. Make up some hilarious stories, like 'You have a pet elephant that would drop you to school daily'. Bring your creativity out and have some fun while you are at it. You can always say you were kidding at the end. I am just kidding. If you do not know the real facts, just say you do not know. You do not have to be nice all the time. It is fine to accept the realities, it is not a reflection on you. You are not forgoing your patriotic feelings for your home country by accepting the short comings.
Labels:
Culture,
Immigration,
Naturalization
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Curse of Sisyphus, Mrs.K Early Retirement and Lessons From Recession
I spoke about the reduction in workforce at my workplace here. The decision has been made and few people on our team were unfortunately on the wrong side of this process. One person on this list was Mrs.K who I was getting to know. I began to think about my own tryst with these kind of events and could only think of Sisyphus. I heard the myth of Sisyphus recently from a good friend of mine while having dinner at MIX.
The very short version of the Curse of Sisyphus goes like this. The story is based on a Greek mythological figure named Sisyphus. He goes about deceiving death and angers the Gods. The Gods curse him for eternity and the punishment was that he would have to push a rock up a mountain and the rock rolls down as soon as it reaches the top. Sisyphus has to go down and push the rock all over again and the cycle repeats. This story is told as a philosophical metaphor for the mechanical life of Human Beings on Earth.
The thoughts going through Sisyphus when the rock rolls down the hill are interpreted by different authors in different ways. Sisyphus must be filled with sorrow and dejected that he has to start all over again. He thinks about the different causes for the rock rolling down and what he can do the next time to prevent it from happening. He even gives up hope of ever trying to push the stone back up on seeing the rock roll down. He gets into denial phase sometimes. But like a mirage his thought process tells him 'I can do this one more time and this will be all over' to give the push a one more try. So he goes back to his routine. The only way out of this is an eventual realization that there is no way out for him and only death can relieve him. But he deceived death and hence he cannot die(This is close to Hindu reincarnation philosophy).
I think we are all replicas of Sisyphus each with a rock to push. The difference is that we are are set in a Matrix like setup where we all see a different mountain. The mountain keeps changing it's shape and size every time the rock rolls down the mountain. We engage in our own rat's race thinking can we push the rock faster than our neighbor, we can push the rocker higher than my friend etc. We have other factors like work and responsibilities shouting in our mind to keep pushing the rock higher and faster. This makes our life even more complex and no time to reach the eventual realization that Sisyphus reached.
I think the economic recession has created a mountain called layoffs and most of us go through this mountain. Mrs. K has her rock at the bottom of the mountain now. I spoke to her few days after she was informed of the company's decision. She was dejected at first, but then she said she was getting tired of the stress of competing in the field of software development. She accrued enough service with the company that she can get Retirement benefits like stipend and lifelong insurance. She is thinking of taking up a less stressful job like a clerical job of some sort. Before that she is going on a vacation to Brazil and Argentina. I was happy that she was taking a break away from all this. I hope that gives her enough time to rethink her life. I wished her good luck and took her out to lunch along with few colleagues at work.
But every event in life has to teach some lessons and this recent episode at work has reinforced some of the lessons that I have learned over time. A good friend of mine has done a good piece( Quick Note on Economic Downturn) about handling life at work during downturns. My lessons that I list below reiterate some of his views. I list my lessons. These are not meant to be preachy, but only as a guiding points for myself to revisit later.
1. Be Professional All The Time
Be nice to your colleagues. Treat them with respect and humility. I believe in Karma, bad behavior during good times get noticed and could be used against you. But saving your job alone should not be the motive, respect should exist for colleagues as they are just human beings trying to do their job and it is also called 'Professionalism'.
2. Show Genuine Interest In Your Colleagues. This will help in understanding their point of view and where they come from. Beware of the thin line between 'Privacy Invasion' and 'Showing Interest'. Some people do lip service to knowing people and can hardly remember the person's name the next time they meet you. Do not be that person. Remember the person's name and how it is pronounced.
3. Do Not Pick Fights.
This is very important especially during downturns. Do not go into heated arguments on certain conflicting points of view and pick easy fights. Everyone is stressed out and conflict with your colleague is the last thing you want. You will be noticed and could easily become a potential target for the headcount reduction.
4. Do Not Judge
Do not be judgmental about a person who lost his job. The person is down in moral and needs some support. A person could lose a job for reason's way beyond his control and skill set. He could be very smart person and very skilled. He is just unlucky by being in a bad company at a wrong time. The company he was working could be in bad state, the department he was working could have been closed. In many cases the employees skill set has very little to do with him losing job in times like now. If you can help the person find a job, do the needful help. It can build your good Karma.
The very short version of the Curse of Sisyphus goes like this. The story is based on a Greek mythological figure named Sisyphus. He goes about deceiving death and angers the Gods. The Gods curse him for eternity and the punishment was that he would have to push a rock up a mountain and the rock rolls down as soon as it reaches the top. Sisyphus has to go down and push the rock all over again and the cycle repeats. This story is told as a philosophical metaphor for the mechanical life of Human Beings on Earth.
The thoughts going through Sisyphus when the rock rolls down the hill are interpreted by different authors in different ways. Sisyphus must be filled with sorrow and dejected that he has to start all over again. He thinks about the different causes for the rock rolling down and what he can do the next time to prevent it from happening. He even gives up hope of ever trying to push the stone back up on seeing the rock roll down. He gets into denial phase sometimes. But like a mirage his thought process tells him 'I can do this one more time and this will be all over' to give the push a one more try. So he goes back to his routine. The only way out of this is an eventual realization that there is no way out for him and only death can relieve him. But he deceived death and hence he cannot die(This is close to Hindu reincarnation philosophy).
I think we are all replicas of Sisyphus each with a rock to push. The difference is that we are are set in a Matrix like setup where we all see a different mountain. The mountain keeps changing it's shape and size every time the rock rolls down the mountain. We engage in our own rat's race thinking can we push the rock faster than our neighbor, we can push the rocker higher than my friend etc. We have other factors like work and responsibilities shouting in our mind to keep pushing the rock higher and faster. This makes our life even more complex and no time to reach the eventual realization that Sisyphus reached.
I think the economic recession has created a mountain called layoffs and most of us go through this mountain. Mrs. K has her rock at the bottom of the mountain now. I spoke to her few days after she was informed of the company's decision. She was dejected at first, but then she said she was getting tired of the stress of competing in the field of software development. She accrued enough service with the company that she can get Retirement benefits like stipend and lifelong insurance. She is thinking of taking up a less stressful job like a clerical job of some sort. Before that she is going on a vacation to Brazil and Argentina. I was happy that she was taking a break away from all this. I hope that gives her enough time to rethink her life. I wished her good luck and took her out to lunch along with few colleagues at work.
But every event in life has to teach some lessons and this recent episode at work has reinforced some of the lessons that I have learned over time. A good friend of mine has done a good piece( Quick Note on Economic Downturn) about handling life at work during downturns. My lessons that I list below reiterate some of his views. I list my lessons. These are not meant to be preachy, but only as a guiding points for myself to revisit later.
1. Be Professional All The Time
Be nice to your colleagues. Treat them with respect and humility. I believe in Karma, bad behavior during good times get noticed and could be used against you. But saving your job alone should not be the motive, respect should exist for colleagues as they are just human beings trying to do their job and it is also called 'Professionalism'.
2. Show Genuine Interest In Your Colleagues. This will help in understanding their point of view and where they come from. Beware of the thin line between 'Privacy Invasion' and 'Showing Interest'. Some people do lip service to knowing people and can hardly remember the person's name the next time they meet you. Do not be that person. Remember the person's name and how it is pronounced.
3. Do Not Pick Fights.
This is very important especially during downturns. Do not go into heated arguments on certain conflicting points of view and pick easy fights. Everyone is stressed out and conflict with your colleague is the last thing you want. You will be noticed and could easily become a potential target for the headcount reduction.
4. Do Not Judge
Do not be judgmental about a person who lost his job. The person is down in moral and needs some support. A person could lose a job for reason's way beyond his control and skill set. He could be very smart person and very skilled. He is just unlucky by being in a bad company at a wrong time. The company he was working could be in bad state, the department he was working could have been closed. In many cases the employees skill set has very little to do with him losing job in times like now. If you can help the person find a job, do the needful help. It can build your good Karma.
5. Keep Updating Your Skill Set
This will help you give an edge over others and hopefully you will not be considered. Even if the axe grinds on you, the acquired skill set should help you in finding a new job quickly. Remember we can only be prepared, everything else is beyond one's control.
6. Have Avenues to De-Stress
Find something that helps you relax after work. It could be a hobby like reading books, listening to music, gardening, meditation, exercise etc. Anything that helps you to not think about what's going at work helps. A good support system at Home is very important. Talk to friends and family as to whats going on at work. They might not be able to help, but just taking about it helps relieve the tension.
7. Save for the Rainy Day
Saving money during downturns is much more important than during good times. Get into habit of setting aside some money monthly for the rainy day. Have at least a one year emergency fund in your bank. Getting into the habit of saving. Remember what this crisis is all about - Credit. Credit is not good. It might be good for some Institutional Investors but never for regular folks like you and me. Try being away from it if you can. If you can't avoid it(like buying a home) trying limiting it by doing your investigation. Ask around and do the prudent thing. Get the loan with lowest interest rate and highest affordable down payment.
6. Have Avenues to De-Stress
Find something that helps you relax after work. It could be a hobby like reading books, listening to music, gardening, meditation, exercise etc. Anything that helps you to not think about what's going at work helps. A good support system at Home is very important. Talk to friends and family as to whats going on at work. They might not be able to help, but just taking about it helps relieve the tension.
7. Save for the Rainy Day
Saving money during downturns is much more important than during good times. Get into habit of setting aside some money monthly for the rainy day. Have at least a one year emergency fund in your bank. Getting into the habit of saving. Remember what this crisis is all about - Credit. Credit is not good. It might be good for some Institutional Investors but never for regular folks like you and me. Try being away from it if you can. If you can't avoid it(like buying a home) trying limiting it by doing your investigation. Ask around and do the prudent thing. Get the loan with lowest interest rate and highest affordable down payment.
Labels:
Downturn,
Life Lessons,
Recession
Friday, July 31, 2009
Top Bollywood Dance Songs of All Time
Here is the list of my Top Ten Hindi Party Dance Songs. The list below is only in Chronological order. It does not represent my preference of one over the other.
Mauja Mauja(Mika Singh) - Jab We Met(2007). I have a funny story about this song. I was at an event in a Children's library where a group of Indians were presenting to a class of kids and interesting locals about Indian Classical Dance forms. They belonged to a local Classical Indian Dance schools and the kids from the school did some Bharat Natyam and Koochupudi as part of the event to teach the local public about India and it's dance forms. That was all fine. In the end the teacher of the kids tells the audience that there is another popular dance form called Bollywood Dance and put in a DVD and played this song from the movie Jab We Met. I was surprised at the selection of this song which is no way close to being Indian Dance form. It was closer to a Hip Hop song with semi-clad women strutting around the leads-very much inspired from Hip Hop. I am not complaining about the popular music as most Classical Music Aficionados(like Sankara Sastry of Sankarabaranam) do. I think it was just a wrong choice for a wrong audience who were mostly kids. Also this happens to be one of the most popular songs of recent times and hence on top of the list. Not my most favorite.
Ek Mein aur ek tu hai(Abhishek Bachan, Sunidhi Chauhan) - Bluffmaster(2005). I like this song beacuse it is true hip-hop version in Hindi. It has the 1-2-3 beat that makes your foot tap and want to be the in the center of the floor with your lady. Abhishek's voice suits well to this type for songs and the dance moves fit the tone of the song. Sunidhi Chauhan is my favorite singer in the current generation, though she doesn't have much in his song, except to croon a line or two along side Abhishek. The next song will display her full potential.
Saaki(Sukhwindher Singh, Sunidhi Chauhan) - Musafir(2004). I like the beat and dance steps in this song. I like all the songs of this movie. I saw them first when they were repeated over and over on TV during my visit to India way back in 2004. Some of the moves are not meant for family audience but the song is great nevertheless. Gives me a jolt every time I listen to this song. And I love Sunidhi's voice. She is best of the current generation especially when it comes to high energy songs. She has great control over her voice and displays good skill in high octane, high pitch songs. Sukhwinder has become monotonous with these kinds of songs, but he was still fresh in 2004. Shh..Nobody tell but I lost my heart to Sameera Reddy while watching the songs from this movie. The dancer in the song is Koena Mitra and the other dude is Sanju Baba aka Sanjay Dutt.
Khallas(Asha Bhosle, Sudhesh Bhosle, Sapna Awasthi) - Company(2002). I like the recklessness in this song which was the last good movie from Ram Gopal Varma. He became a fast food chain offering quick junk movies from a gourmet restaurant offering sumptuous selective meals after this movie. The song fits well with what is happening at the moment in the movie. Asha Bhonsle appears old and not suited for this song, but Sapna Awasthi provides the much needed salvo. Sunidhi Chauhan would have been an appropriate singer for this song instead of Asha ji. I think it is time for the Mangeskar sisters to retire. I was very impressed by the movie making capabilities of RGV and must have watched it several times repeatedly in 2002. For those who dont know, Asha Bonsle is the singer and not the dancer. The Dancer is Isha Koppikar.
Babuji Zara Deere Chalo(Sukhwinder Singh , Sonu Kakkar) - Dum(2002). The movie sucks, the song is for mature audience only. This song made the list - courtesy Yana Gupta.
Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe(Shankar Mahadevan, Shaan, K.K) - Dil Chahta Hai(2001). I must have seen this movie alteast 20 times. It was one of the biggest movie of our time and was a trend setter. I even imitated Amir's goatee. Great Movie, great Song by the trio and great dance moves. Simple and elegant, just made for closing time of the dance floor.
Ek Pal Ka Jeena(Lucky Ali) - Kaho Na Pyar Hai(2000). This movie catapulted Hritik Roshan to a huge star overnight. He displays amazing dance skills that was sorely missing from Hindi Movie Industry then. The Industry for all it's glory still lacks a good dancer and will find nothing but vaccuum if you take away Hritik now. The tight dress and group behind him appear comical now. The one dance move from this song has become his signature move. Alas he still awaits a hit suitable to his talent and skill. The singer, Lucky Ali, obtained so much fame that he became a movie star himself and then he disappeared.
Khambakht Ishq(Sukhwinder Singh , Asha Bhonsle , Sonu Nigam) - Pyar Tune Kya Kiya(2001). The movie is pardonable and was only a curtain raiser of what was to come from RGV Factory. The song is in the list for the choreography. Great moves, good use of the red fabric and the limited skills of the Khan. Urmila is great in her dancing skills. Did I say Asha Bhonsle should retire. Actually this song is not that bad as her vocal chords were still working then.
Edit 08/03/2008 11:00 PM - Had to insert this song.
Kay Sera Sera(Kavita Krishnamurti) - Pukar(2000). Despite not wanting to intentionally load this list with AR Rahman's songs, I had to include this song for reasons other than the singer Kavita and composer ARR. The video reveals the outstanding personalities who try to outdo one another in their dancing skills. Madhuri Dixit is the female and Prabhu Deva is the male dancer - the two most recognizable dancers of my generation in India. Madhuri took the baton from Madhbala and Rekha, while Prabhu Deva is a self-professed idolizer of Michael Jackson. Hats off to them both and here is the song.
Mangta Hai Kya(AR. Rahman, Shwetha Shetty) - Rangeela(1995). A.R. Rahman is one music composer after R.D.Burman who uses his vocal chords very effectively and puts them to limited use unlike some (like Anu Malik, Bappi Lahiri, RP Patnaik etc.). He has a great voice and is used very effectively in this stomper. The choreography is good for the age it was made in. Urmila looks like a kid in the song with a short skirt during the beginning of the song. Swetha Shetty was fresh from her success of the pop song Deewane To Deewane Hain and provides good support to ARR.
Akhiyon se Goli Mare(Sonu Nigam, Jaspinder Narula) - Dulhe Raja(1988). Govinda could be called the biggest comic hero in the Hindi Movie Industry ever. More famous for his gaudy dressing sense, he is also skilled in displaying his dance moves while bringing smiles to the audience. I loved his movies before Hera Pheri made Akshay Kumar a star with comic flavor and every Tom, Dick and Harry followed suit. I look forward to his come back. This movie has Raveena Tandon on his side who is not that bad a dancer herself.
De De Pyar De(Kishor Kumar) - Sharaabi(2004). This song has Kishore Kumar at his best, singing drunkard tone with ease. But the credit must be given to Bappi Lahiri for composing this ever lasting memorable song. The other reason for this song making the list must be my soft corner for Jaya.
I am an Disco Dancer(Vijay Benedict) - Disco Dancer(1982). I have not seen this movie to date. But I grew up listening to this song. Not at home as we did not have TV or a Tape Player yet then. Must be from here and there during Ganesh Chaturdi pandals in the street and on AIR. I do not know who the singer Vijay is. But it is a great song and part of my childhood memory. This movie has two songs in my list just because of the impression these songs left during my childhood.
Edit - 08/03/2009 11:45PM - The female of version of the song is here. Not sure who the singer is here.
Jimmy Aja(Parvati Khan) - Disco Dancer(1982). Parvati Khan was my introduction to Indian and Hindi Pop long after this movie came out. I think the first pop by an Indian I have heard must be 'Papa Dont Preach', originally by Madonna, sung by Parvati Khan on a late night pop music show in Doordarshan on a New Year Eve.
Na Mangun Sona Chandi(Shailendra Singh, Manna Dey) - Bobby(1973). It is probably Prem Nath with his funny suit, the Goan dances or the innocent looking Dimple that makes this song a great watch. The filmi masala genius of Raj Kapoor is visible in every frame of this movie.
Hawa Hawa - Hasan Jahangir. This song 'Hawa Hawa e Hawa' was one more childhood memory of mine from listening to it from the Ganesh Chaturdi Pandal Speakers who would steal the electricity from the street post. I did not know that the singer was a Pakistani until yesterday. Good job Youtube. Great songs and great lyrics.
Another live performance from the singer Hasan Jahangir can be found here.
All the songs listed below are quite old and I will upload the data when I get time. I was exposed to these and many other songs from Chitrahaar of Doordarshan National Channel that used to be called DD1 during my time. DD1 was telecast in Hindi and sometimes in English. It would be surprising but it was the only channel available in India about two decades ago. I learnt Hindi just watching the programmes in the limited broadcast they published.
Mere Sapnon Ki Rani - Kishore Kumar. I think this is from the movie 'Mere Sapnon Ki Rani' starring Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore. Rajesh Khanna was the soft lover boy of my Father's generation, Numero Uno of the Hindi Movie Industry before Amitabh, the angry Young Man, forcibly took over the mantle.
Baar Baar Dekho-
Johny Mera Naam - Pal Bar Ke Liye
CID - Leke Pehla Pehla Pyar
Shree 420 - Ramaya Wasta Vaiya
Naya Daur - Ude Jab Jab Zulfe Tere. This is a digitally remastered version of the old movie song from the movie Naya Daur. Great movie. Thanks to DD for some good memories.
Mauja Mauja(Mika Singh) - Jab We Met(2007). I have a funny story about this song. I was at an event in a Children's library where a group of Indians were presenting to a class of kids and interesting locals about Indian Classical Dance forms. They belonged to a local Classical Indian Dance schools and the kids from the school did some Bharat Natyam and Koochupudi as part of the event to teach the local public about India and it's dance forms. That was all fine. In the end the teacher of the kids tells the audience that there is another popular dance form called Bollywood Dance and put in a DVD and played this song from the movie Jab We Met. I was surprised at the selection of this song which is no way close to being Indian Dance form. It was closer to a Hip Hop song with semi-clad women strutting around the leads-very much inspired from Hip Hop. I am not complaining about the popular music as most Classical Music Aficionados(like Sankara Sastry of Sankarabaranam) do. I think it was just a wrong choice for a wrong audience who were mostly kids. Also this happens to be one of the most popular songs of recent times and hence on top of the list. Not my most favorite.
Ek Mein aur ek tu hai(Abhishek Bachan, Sunidhi Chauhan) - Bluffmaster(2005). I like this song beacuse it is true hip-hop version in Hindi. It has the 1-2-3 beat that makes your foot tap and want to be the in the center of the floor with your lady. Abhishek's voice suits well to this type for songs and the dance moves fit the tone of the song. Sunidhi Chauhan is my favorite singer in the current generation, though she doesn't have much in his song, except to croon a line or two along side Abhishek. The next song will display her full potential.
Saaki(Sukhwindher Singh, Sunidhi Chauhan) - Musafir(2004). I like the beat and dance steps in this song. I like all the songs of this movie. I saw them first when they were repeated over and over on TV during my visit to India way back in 2004. Some of the moves are not meant for family audience but the song is great nevertheless. Gives me a jolt every time I listen to this song. And I love Sunidhi's voice. She is best of the current generation especially when it comes to high energy songs. She has great control over her voice and displays good skill in high octane, high pitch songs. Sukhwinder has become monotonous with these kinds of songs, but he was still fresh in 2004. Shh..Nobody tell but I lost my heart to Sameera Reddy while watching the songs from this movie. The dancer in the song is Koena Mitra and the other dude is Sanju Baba aka Sanjay Dutt.
Khallas(Asha Bhosle, Sudhesh Bhosle, Sapna Awasthi) - Company(2002). I like the recklessness in this song which was the last good movie from Ram Gopal Varma. He became a fast food chain offering quick junk movies from a gourmet restaurant offering sumptuous selective meals after this movie. The song fits well with what is happening at the moment in the movie. Asha Bhonsle appears old and not suited for this song, but Sapna Awasthi provides the much needed salvo. Sunidhi Chauhan would have been an appropriate singer for this song instead of Asha ji. I think it is time for the Mangeskar sisters to retire. I was very impressed by the movie making capabilities of RGV and must have watched it several times repeatedly in 2002. For those who dont know, Asha Bonsle is the singer and not the dancer. The Dancer is Isha Koppikar.
Babuji Zara Deere Chalo(Sukhwinder Singh , Sonu Kakkar) - Dum(2002). The movie sucks, the song is for mature audience only. This song made the list - courtesy Yana Gupta.
Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe(Shankar Mahadevan, Shaan, K.K) - Dil Chahta Hai(2001). I must have seen this movie alteast 20 times. It was one of the biggest movie of our time and was a trend setter. I even imitated Amir's goatee. Great Movie, great Song by the trio and great dance moves. Simple and elegant, just made for closing time of the dance floor.
Ek Pal Ka Jeena(Lucky Ali) - Kaho Na Pyar Hai(2000). This movie catapulted Hritik Roshan to a huge star overnight. He displays amazing dance skills that was sorely missing from Hindi Movie Industry then. The Industry for all it's glory still lacks a good dancer and will find nothing but vaccuum if you take away Hritik now. The tight dress and group behind him appear comical now. The one dance move from this song has become his signature move. Alas he still awaits a hit suitable to his talent and skill. The singer, Lucky Ali, obtained so much fame that he became a movie star himself and then he disappeared.
Khambakht Ishq(Sukhwinder Singh , Asha Bhonsle , Sonu Nigam) - Pyar Tune Kya Kiya(2001). The movie is pardonable and was only a curtain raiser of what was to come from RGV Factory. The song is in the list for the choreography. Great moves, good use of the red fabric and the limited skills of the Khan. Urmila is great in her dancing skills. Did I say Asha Bhonsle should retire. Actually this song is not that bad as her vocal chords were still working then.
Edit 08/03/2008 11:00 PM - Had to insert this song.
Kay Sera Sera(Kavita Krishnamurti) - Pukar(2000). Despite not wanting to intentionally load this list with AR Rahman's songs, I had to include this song for reasons other than the singer Kavita and composer ARR. The video reveals the outstanding personalities who try to outdo one another in their dancing skills. Madhuri Dixit is the female and Prabhu Deva is the male dancer - the two most recognizable dancers of my generation in India. Madhuri took the baton from Madhbala and Rekha, while Prabhu Deva is a self-professed idolizer of Michael Jackson. Hats off to them both and here is the song.
Mangta Hai Kya(AR. Rahman, Shwetha Shetty) - Rangeela(1995). A.R. Rahman is one music composer after R.D.Burman who uses his vocal chords very effectively and puts them to limited use unlike some (like Anu Malik, Bappi Lahiri, RP Patnaik etc.). He has a great voice and is used very effectively in this stomper. The choreography is good for the age it was made in. Urmila looks like a kid in the song with a short skirt during the beginning of the song. Swetha Shetty was fresh from her success of the pop song Deewane To Deewane Hain and provides good support to ARR.
Akhiyon se Goli Mare(Sonu Nigam, Jaspinder Narula) - Dulhe Raja(1988). Govinda could be called the biggest comic hero in the Hindi Movie Industry ever. More famous for his gaudy dressing sense, he is also skilled in displaying his dance moves while bringing smiles to the audience. I loved his movies before Hera Pheri made Akshay Kumar a star with comic flavor and every Tom, Dick and Harry followed suit. I look forward to his come back. This movie has Raveena Tandon on his side who is not that bad a dancer herself.
De De Pyar De(Kishor Kumar) - Sharaabi(2004). This song has Kishore Kumar at his best, singing drunkard tone with ease. But the credit must be given to Bappi Lahiri for composing this ever lasting memorable song. The other reason for this song making the list must be my soft corner for Jaya.
I am an Disco Dancer(Vijay Benedict) - Disco Dancer(1982). I have not seen this movie to date. But I grew up listening to this song. Not at home as we did not have TV or a Tape Player yet then. Must be from here and there during Ganesh Chaturdi pandals in the street and on AIR. I do not know who the singer Vijay is. But it is a great song and part of my childhood memory. This movie has two songs in my list just because of the impression these songs left during my childhood.
Edit - 08/03/2009 11:45PM - The female of version of the song is here. Not sure who the singer is here.
Jimmy Aja(Parvati Khan) - Disco Dancer(1982). Parvati Khan was my introduction to Indian and Hindi Pop long after this movie came out. I think the first pop by an Indian I have heard must be 'Papa Dont Preach', originally by Madonna, sung by Parvati Khan on a late night pop music show in Doordarshan on a New Year Eve.
Na Mangun Sona Chandi(Shailendra Singh, Manna Dey) - Bobby(1973). It is probably Prem Nath with his funny suit, the Goan dances or the innocent looking Dimple that makes this song a great watch. The filmi masala genius of Raj Kapoor is visible in every frame of this movie.
Hawa Hawa - Hasan Jahangir. This song 'Hawa Hawa e Hawa' was one more childhood memory of mine from listening to it from the Ganesh Chaturdi Pandal Speakers who would steal the electricity from the street post. I did not know that the singer was a Pakistani until yesterday. Good job Youtube. Great songs and great lyrics.
Another live performance from the singer Hasan Jahangir can be found here.
All the songs listed below are quite old and I will upload the data when I get time. I was exposed to these and many other songs from Chitrahaar of Doordarshan National Channel that used to be called DD1 during my time. DD1 was telecast in Hindi and sometimes in English. It would be surprising but it was the only channel available in India about two decades ago. I learnt Hindi just watching the programmes in the limited broadcast they published.
Mere Sapnon Ki Rani - Kishore Kumar. I think this is from the movie 'Mere Sapnon Ki Rani' starring Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore. Rajesh Khanna was the soft lover boy of my Father's generation, Numero Uno of the Hindi Movie Industry before Amitabh, the angry Young Man, forcibly took over the mantle.
Baar Baar Dekho-
Johny Mera Naam - Pal Bar Ke Liye
CID - Leke Pehla Pehla Pyar
Shree 420 - Ramaya Wasta Vaiya
Naya Daur - Ude Jab Jab Zulfe Tere. This is a digitally remastered version of the old movie song from the movie Naya Daur. Great movie. Thanks to DD for some good memories.
Labels:
Bollywood Dances,
Hindi Movie Songs
Thursday, July 16, 2009
R.I.P. King of Pop MJ
I was huge fan of his music and dances. I think he was single most icon of western pop music to the world. Every where on earth his name is synonymous to western pop music and crazy dance moves. R.I.P. King of Pop.
He came alive in Philadelphia recently. Check these videos below. He is good but not as good as he was when he was alive. These are short 16 second videos clipped taken from my cellphone.
My favorite song of his can be viewed here. Not sure why I like 'Black or White'. I think it was the first video of his' that I ever watched long time ago as a kid. I was amazed at that time watching the faces morphing into another at the end of video.
He came alive in Philadelphia recently. Check these videos below. He is good but not as good as he was when he was alive. These are short 16 second videos clipped taken from my cellphone.
My favorite song of his can be viewed here. Not sure why I like 'Black or White'. I think it was the first video of his' that I ever watched long time ago as a kid. I was amazed at that time watching the faces morphing into another at the end of video.
Labels:
Living Arts,
Philadelphia
Friday, July 10, 2009
Giant Scallions, Mini Zinnias and Constant Gardener
After a not so humble beginning to which I had a modest outcome last year, I set out a far more outreaching goals this year. I went nursery style, from seeds with lot more varieties and increased the footage. I was lucky to have a about 50 sq. ft. of land in front of my apartment that I could use for gardening. I will detail later on why this luck resulted in back breaking work for me.
I decided to challenge myself this year. Not only did I wanted to raise the flowers and vegetables from seeds, but I wanted to raise them organic style with minimum or no synthetic materials like pesticides and fertilizers etc. I learnt that it was lot of more harder than it seems and gardening in this part of earth is lot more different than in a tropical country like India.
I bought the seeds for five types of flowers and red bell peppers. The winter was long this time in North East PA. I could not plant these seeds outside until mid May which turned out to be a mistake. I learned that most people who raise plants from seeds begin the process early in April indoors. So by the time the frost ends beginning May, the seedlings grow about two inches and are ready to be transplanted in the garden and blossom in June. But those were for experienced gardeners to know. The minimal gardening knowledge I carried across the ocean watching my Mom do her garden was of little help. Last year, I bought almost ready to blossom plants and hence that experience did not come handy this time other than the fact that I have to be watchful for aphids in pepper plants.
The seeds were either not so good or the timing was late, the germination did not happen for about three weeks and that too a very few came out of the lot. The rest took even longer. I sowed the seeds in the three 24in window trays I bought last year with the intention to transplant the flower plants in the garden in front of our town home.
During this mean time something happened that would be brought the most outcome with very little effort from my side. I bought a bag of onions from Walmart. After a week some of these onions bore green shoots out of them. My mother-in-law not wanting to throw them away, cut the good part of the onions and buried the green shoots in one of the plant trays that did not bore any plants yet at that time. She did similarly plant some carrots and beetroot shoots and nothing came out of them yet.
During the end of May after about 3 weeks some of the seeds sprouted. I transplanted all the flower plants into the ground. The trouble that came out of this endeavour was multiple and involved a lot of work. First of the all there were two inches thick mulch above the soil. I had to clear them before transplanting the plants into the soil. The soil in this area was clay soil, suitable for making pots but not so much for flower plants. To top of it as soon as I planted them, heavy rain poured in that kept the soil soggy for a long time.
I did not cover the mulch over the area around the plants after transplanting. This caused a trough and soil remained wet for a lot of time. As if this was not enough, the plants began to be eaten by weird bugs from the soil. They were small and white in color. A little search revealed them to be slugs. But I gave up the idea of organic gardening after a period of about two weeks and severe damage to most plants. I got a slug killing pesticide and sprayed them on the soil. I was quite late already and the slugs ate up quite a few plants.
I had some more seeds and after the back breaking transplantation process the first time, I sowed these seeds directly in the ground. But rain was incessant. The rain was so heavy that they washed most of the seeds out and what were left were transported to places close to the edge of the walkway. The plants that came of these are about 2 in tall now. I have no hopes of them bearing any flowers anytime soon.
The slug pesticide was very effective in arresting the death of the plant that remained. I also learnt that it is best to use potting soil in combination with compost. I had potting soil leftover from last year and obtained four 20lb bags of compost from a nearby park for free. I replanted almost all the plants I put in the ground, removing the clay soil for about 3 inches deep and replacing with a mix of potting soil and compost. I did this replanting almost every week for about 4 weeks.
Added to these later were cherry and vine tomatoes and green chilies, courtesy my mother-in-law. She dipped some seeds out of cut tomatoes into some indoor pots we have and almost all of them germinated. She did the same with red bell peppers and green chili peppers. The peppers were the most surprising. After a month from sowing them, more than a h
undred of the plants came out and I had to transplant all of them into the ground.
But in all of this, the surprise were the onions that were put in the soil nonchalantly. They grew out to be this giant scallions I have never seen before. Some of them were about 3 feet tall. The two synthetics I wanted to avoid, both seemed to be necessary. The tomatoes hat I transplanted to the ground, refused to grow. I bought Nursery Select 20-20-20 Miraclegro fertilizer to speedup the growth and that did the trick.
After two months of waiting the first flower to blossom was a marigold. It was the ugliest flower imaginable. I shouldn't have expected more from the plant that was hardly 3 inch tall. But as time passed the other marigolds grew and are bearing good normal sized flowers now.
The Zinnias were the most effected by the slugs. The slugs had feast on these plants. Those that survived have a very stunted growth. I have not had time to re-pot (with compost) these plants as I had become busy at home and work. They are bringing out one flower each which are the tiniest flowers I have seen of that variety. I am still waiting for the other kind of plants to bring out flowers. The same is the case with the peppers, tomatoes.
I had also bought about 8 Zucchinis plants to add to my madness. They bore some flowers and they are fast dropping now without turning into Zucchinis. I was told that this is normal and that the first flowers are male flowers and they fall off. I am eagerly waiting for all of them to fully blossom. With some luck and good weather my gardening experiment might be a success making me one constant gardener moving forward.
The humble flowers of my efforts so far can be viewed here where you can find a lot more pictures of my garden and the 3 ft tall scallions.
I decided to challenge myself this year. Not only did I wanted to raise the flowers and vegetables from seeds, but I wanted to raise them organic style with minimum or no synthetic materials like pesticides and fertilizers etc. I learnt that it was lot of more harder than it seems and gardening in this part of earth is lot more different than in a tropical country like India.
I bought the seeds for five types of flowers and red bell peppers. The winter was long this time in North East PA. I could not plant these seeds outside until mid May which turned out to be a mistake. I learned that most people who raise plants from seeds begin the process early in April indoors. So by the time the frost ends beginning May, the seedlings grow about two inches and are ready to be transplanted in the garden and blossom in June. But those were for experienced gardeners to know. The minimal gardening knowledge I carried across the ocean watching my Mom do her garden was of little help. Last year, I bought almost ready to blossom plants and hence that experience did not come handy this time other than the fact that I have to be watchful for aphids in pepper plants.
The seeds were either not so good or the timing was late, the germination did not happen for about three weeks and that too a very few came out of the lot. The rest took even longer. I sowed the seeds in the three 24in window trays I bought last year with the intention to transplant the flower plants in the garden in front of our town home.
During this mean time something happened that would be brought the most outcome with very little effort from my side. I bought a bag of onions from Walmart. After a week some of these onions bore green shoots out of them. My mother-in-law not wanting to throw them away, cut the good part of the onions and buried the green shoots in one of the plant trays that did not bore any plants yet at that time. She did similarly plant some carrots and beetroot shoots and nothing came out of them yet.
During the end of May after about 3 weeks some of the seeds sprouted. I transplanted all the flower plants into the ground. The trouble that came out of this endeavour was multiple and involved a lot of work. First of the all there were two inches thick mulch above the soil. I had to clear them before transplanting the plants into the soil. The soil in this area was clay soil, suitable for making pots but not so much for flower plants. To top of it as soon as I planted them, heavy rain poured in that kept the soil soggy for a long time.
I did not cover the mulch over the area around the plants after transplanting. This caused a trough and soil remained wet for a lot of time. As if this was not enough, the plants began to be eaten by weird bugs from the soil. They were small and white in color. A little search revealed them to be slugs. But I gave up the idea of organic gardening after a period of about two weeks and severe damage to most plants. I got a slug killing pesticide and sprayed them on the soil. I was quite late already and the slugs ate up quite a few plants.
I had some more seeds and after the back breaking transplantation process the first time, I sowed these seeds directly in the ground. But rain was incessant. The rain was so heavy that they washed most of the seeds out and what were left were transported to places close to the edge of the walkway. The plants that came of these are about 2 in tall now. I have no hopes of them bearing any flowers anytime soon.
The slug pesticide was very effective in arresting the death of the plant that remained. I also learnt that it is best to use potting soil in combination with compost. I had potting soil leftover from last year and obtained four 20lb bags of compost from a nearby park for free. I replanted almost all the plants I put in the ground, removing the clay soil for about 3 inches deep and replacing with a mix of potting soil and compost. I did this replanting almost every week for about 4 weeks.
Added to these later were cherry and vine tomatoes and green chilies, courtesy my mother-in-law. She dipped some seeds out of cut tomatoes into some indoor pots we have and almost all of them germinated. She did the same with red bell peppers and green chili peppers. The peppers were the most surprising. After a month from sowing them, more than a h
undred of the plants came out and I had to transplant all of them into the ground. But in all of this, the surprise were the onions that were put in the soil nonchalantly. They grew out to be this giant scallions I have never seen before. Some of them were about 3 feet tall. The two synthetics I wanted to avoid, both seemed to be necessary. The tomatoes hat I transplanted to the ground, refused to grow. I bought Nursery Select 20-20-20 Miraclegro fertilizer to speedup the growth and that did the trick.
After two months of waiting the first flower to blossom was a marigold. It was the ugliest flower imaginable. I shouldn't have expected more from the plant that was hardly 3 inch tall. But as time passed the other marigolds grew and are bearing good normal sized flowers now.
The Zinnias were the most effected by the slugs. The slugs had feast on these plants. Those that survived have a very stunted growth. I have not had time to re-pot (with compost) these plants as I had become busy at home and work. They are bringing out one flower each which are the tiniest flowers I have seen of that variety. I am still waiting for the other kind of plants to bring out flowers. The same is the case with the peppers, tomatoes.
I had also bought about 8 Zucchinis plants to add to my madness. They bore some flowers and they are fast dropping now without turning into Zucchinis. I was told that this is normal and that the first flowers are male flowers and they fall off. I am eagerly waiting for all of them to fully blossom. With some luck and good weather my gardening experiment might be a success making me one constant gardener moving forward.
The humble flowers of my efforts so far can be viewed here where you can find a lot more pictures of my garden and the 3 ft tall scallions.
Labels:
Gardening,
Green Living,
Organic
Saturday, June 20, 2009
When it rains, it pours
The events that took place last week could be summed up by the idiom 'When it rains, it pours'. It was the first time, I was leaving home after the birth of our cutie pie. That was slightly depressing enough, but I brushed it aside as a mere part of life where we have to do things leaving our loved one's behind. For some reason the two and half hour drive that morning was exhausting and I desperately wanted a rest. After work at around 6:30 PM, I went to a grocery store to pick some vegetables where my brother joined me. He moved into a new apartment in Center city and I do not have a copy of the key. So we go to his bachelor pad together and what do we find. The main door to his apartment was open slightly without the lights on. My suspicious brain triggered something was amiss. I ordered my brother not to enter the apartment outright and to knock the door to find if anybody answers. There was no response. So my brother went inside and thought everything was fine. But my mind was reading something else. There was lots of stuff thrown on the bed, every drawers from his side table were on the floor. The doors to his friends room and to the basement were open. There were screws on the floor with a non-uniform wooden wedge next to them. I looked at the door casing and quickly knew that the wooden wedge was a result of a forced open of the door. The burglar broke open the main door with sheer force and my brother's room with an iron chair from the kitchen.
We called the landlord and dialed 911. They both turned about two hours later. The cops think it was some homeless guy looking for cash and valuables like jewelry that could be cashed quickly. He concluded that in few minutes as nothing was missing from the other bedroom, whereas every valuable that was in my brother's room iPod, couple watches, currency, loads of coins were stolen. His roommate had valuable items like printers, camera, projector etc but just not valuable enough to the homeless guy. To top it off there was a cassette FM radio player missing from the living room.
The next day was even worse. The news broke that they were plans to layoff 500 employees at work. Then at the end of the day I was crossing a road while I was walking to my car. There were a bunch of cars waiting at the signal. A kitten jumped out of nowhere and slid under the tire of a car. It was drizzling and it was chilly. The cat thought that corner of the car tire was cozy. As soon as this happened, the signal turned green and car raced off. While the car was moving, the cat moved an inch, hesitated and stayed back only to be driven over by the car. The kitten was crushed. It jumped thrice in the air and that's it, laid there on the floor dead. All this happened in a few seconds and I was still frozen. It was saddening and I was feeling sick now.
I reached the car and was thinking what else could go wrong. I put everything in the trunk and sat in the car to start the ignition. Lo and behold I see an envelope behind the glass in front of me. It was a parking ticket. Guess what! My inspection expired and the PPA granted me a violation for the expired inspection. I did not know how I let my car inspection sticker expire. Nor did I know that parking authorities issue ticket for the same. I was depressed now. I was even superstitious if all these events were omens and something worse was yet to come. I even entertained postponing my ride back home. I spent a few minutes in silence so as to gather myself and set off to one last stop - the Indian grocery store on my way home. I am so glad the week passed by quick after those dreadful two days.
But these events only enhanced my belief in the randomness of life and taught me a new lesson - Preventing and protecting oneself against potential huge losses is more important than making several small savings. When you lose money, like in a break-in, the losses are typically huge. They can erode all the small savings that one makes over a period(ranging from months to years) of time. I plan to get myself a renter's insurance and worry less about checking multiple stores for making small purchases.
We called the landlord and dialed 911. They both turned about two hours later. The cops think it was some homeless guy looking for cash and valuables like jewelry that could be cashed quickly. He concluded that in few minutes as nothing was missing from the other bedroom, whereas every valuable that was in my brother's room iPod, couple watches, currency, loads of coins were stolen. His roommate had valuable items like printers, camera, projector etc but just not valuable enough to the homeless guy. To top it off there was a cassette FM radio player missing from the living room.
The next day was even worse. The news broke that they were plans to layoff 500 employees at work. Then at the end of the day I was crossing a road while I was walking to my car. There were a bunch of cars waiting at the signal. A kitten jumped out of nowhere and slid under the tire of a car. It was drizzling and it was chilly. The cat thought that corner of the car tire was cozy. As soon as this happened, the signal turned green and car raced off. While the car was moving, the cat moved an inch, hesitated and stayed back only to be driven over by the car. The kitten was crushed. It jumped thrice in the air and that's it, laid there on the floor dead. All this happened in a few seconds and I was still frozen. It was saddening and I was feeling sick now.
I reached the car and was thinking what else could go wrong. I put everything in the trunk and sat in the car to start the ignition. Lo and behold I see an envelope behind the glass in front of me. It was a parking ticket. Guess what! My inspection expired and the PPA granted me a violation for the expired inspection. I did not know how I let my car inspection sticker expire. Nor did I know that parking authorities issue ticket for the same. I was depressed now. I was even superstitious if all these events were omens and something worse was yet to come. I even entertained postponing my ride back home. I spent a few minutes in silence so as to gather myself and set off to one last stop - the Indian grocery store on my way home. I am so glad the week passed by quick after those dreadful two days.
But these events only enhanced my belief in the randomness of life and taught me a new lesson - Preventing and protecting oneself against potential huge losses is more important than making several small savings. When you lose money, like in a break-in, the losses are typically huge. They can erode all the small savings that one makes over a period(ranging from months to years) of time. I plan to get myself a renter's insurance and worry less about checking multiple stores for making small purchases.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Professional and Private life, can we truly separate them?
A few days ago a couple of our friends who happen to be my spouses' co-workers visited us. Here is a conversation that happened.
"The patient had tidal volume down. BP in control, prone ventilation, atrial fibrillation. On epinephrine, pco2 from 60 to 70. Oxygen in monitor at 50. ativan drip, saturation 50, heart rate 100, levofed 150. ARDS and can nothing if she is not responding. She has bed sores. She has AIDS, no WHITE blood cells in the body. Everyone is afraid to touch her for fear of worsening her condition."
This is a very typical conversation when these medical residents meet. It does not matter who else is around them. Their conversation does not go beyond their patients and the hospital settings. I have tried to steer them to other conversation like my favorite team Lakers winning the championship. What I call normal conversation (like everything other than work) is a rarity and is very short lived with these folks which could be testing while others (people not working in a medical profession) are around. I have gotten used to these conversations and actually am amused by their interest in the field. I am also sometimes shocked to hear certain things, but that is beyond the topic of this post.
I am a strong believer in having a private life outside of work. Meaning not to ignore work but there should be boundaries. When I leave work, my other life begins which is interrupted only when things are critical and stressful at work. This enables me to have other wise pursuits in life like watching TV and getting all the exciting world news from The Daily Show by Jon Stewart etc. I can hardly imagine a nerdy tech talk outside work which goes something like this
'The server load had exceeded leading to a network failure bringing the server down. The memory of 8Gigs was not sufficient. So we are trying to double that RAM. But the servers space is limited and server runs of 2000 which is way old. It is time to move to Windows 2008 with .Net framework 3.5 and last but not least it should at least have IIS 6.0. IP v6.0 would be nice but our entire server system has to be changed which is unlikely at this point. On top of it the vendor support is not so good. And the developers produce memory leaking software without any null checks causing the logs to be filled every weak with information about errors. No wonder the business is always behind doing data batch uploads to the database causing bandwidth strain on the database servers. BTW have you tried the new iPhone it is super cool and fast.'
This is the extent of my nerdy tech talk. I think most people familiar with computers can understand most of it but it still is associated with a server admin professional. I cannot have a conversation like that daily after work.
Having said all of this, there are couple questions that should be raised in this context.
1. Why do medical professionals (insert any other profession) invariably return to their work in a casual settings.
2. Can one truly separate Professional and Private life.
The causes for the first question could be multiple. One needs to understand the work setting. In the case of Medical Residents, they spend about 80 hours a week working at the hospital which is double the time a normal person spends at work. This means it takes away 40 valuable hours away from the medical professionals life which could be used for other pursuits outside work. Then there are the stress levels to consider. My job can hardly be considered stressful. There were times they were stressful and I could dream 'if' and 'for loops' in my sleep. Imagine a job where lives could be at risk on your decision calls. That is stressful. The same could be the case with advocates and stock traders etc who spend long stressful times at work. These folks are always thinking about work and they don't have time for other distractions to pursue. A good family atmosphere can alter this, but most medical folks marry within the profession leaving very little room for something else to discuss. Then there is a passion for what you do. Some people are very passionate about their work. Passion is good and necessary if you want to achieve excellence, but it can blind you to others windows of life.
The second part is the separation of Church from the State, I mean professional and private life. I don't think one can truly separate them. If things go bad on any one end, the other is affected. One has to be a machine to block one from the other. Besides people at work are humans after all and friendly relations can be forged with some of them. Every place I left, I took with me a good friend from whom I learned a lot professionally and stay in touch ever so often.
One can and should only strive to seek an optimum balance between work and home. One needs to keep your skills up to date to be competitive at work and also take care of the family so as to not worry about them at work. Taking a break like a vacation once in a while helps. Having hobbies and interests can be effective. Reading, gardening, watching TV and browsing works for me albeit that the latter two take too much of time that could be utilized for more constructive measures like blogging.
Happy July 4th to everyone and take some time off from work this weekend.
"The patient had tidal volume down. BP in control, prone ventilation, atrial fibrillation. On epinephrine, pco2 from 60 to 70. Oxygen in monitor at 50. ativan drip, saturation 50, heart rate 100, levofed 150. ARDS and can nothing if she is not responding. She has bed sores. She has AIDS, no WHITE blood cells in the body. Everyone is afraid to touch her for fear of worsening her condition."
This is a very typical conversation when these medical residents meet. It does not matter who else is around them. Their conversation does not go beyond their patients and the hospital settings. I have tried to steer them to other conversation like my favorite team Lakers winning the championship. What I call normal conversation (like everything other than work) is a rarity and is very short lived with these folks which could be testing while others (people not working in a medical profession) are around. I have gotten used to these conversations and actually am amused by their interest in the field. I am also sometimes shocked to hear certain things, but that is beyond the topic of this post.
I am a strong believer in having a private life outside of work. Meaning not to ignore work but there should be boundaries. When I leave work, my other life begins which is interrupted only when things are critical and stressful at work. This enables me to have other wise pursuits in life like watching TV and getting all the exciting world news from The Daily Show by Jon Stewart etc. I can hardly imagine a nerdy tech talk outside work which goes something like this
'The server load had exceeded leading to a network failure bringing the server down. The memory of 8Gigs was not sufficient. So we are trying to double that RAM. But the servers space is limited and server runs of 2000 which is way old. It is time to move to Windows 2008 with .Net framework 3.5 and last but not least it should at least have IIS 6.0. IP v6.0 would be nice but our entire server system has to be changed which is unlikely at this point. On top of it the vendor support is not so good. And the developers produce memory leaking software without any null checks causing the logs to be filled every weak with information about errors. No wonder the business is always behind doing data batch uploads to the database causing bandwidth strain on the database servers. BTW have you tried the new iPhone it is super cool and fast.'
This is the extent of my nerdy tech talk. I think most people familiar with computers can understand most of it but it still is associated with a server admin professional. I cannot have a conversation like that daily after work.
Having said all of this, there are couple questions that should be raised in this context.
1. Why do medical professionals (insert any other profession) invariably return to their work in a casual settings.
2. Can one truly separate Professional and Private life.
The causes for the first question could be multiple. One needs to understand the work setting. In the case of Medical Residents, they spend about 80 hours a week working at the hospital which is double the time a normal person spends at work. This means it takes away 40 valuable hours away from the medical professionals life which could be used for other pursuits outside work. Then there are the stress levels to consider. My job can hardly be considered stressful. There were times they were stressful and I could dream 'if' and 'for loops' in my sleep. Imagine a job where lives could be at risk on your decision calls. That is stressful. The same could be the case with advocates and stock traders etc who spend long stressful times at work. These folks are always thinking about work and they don't have time for other distractions to pursue. A good family atmosphere can alter this, but most medical folks marry within the profession leaving very little room for something else to discuss. Then there is a passion for what you do. Some people are very passionate about their work. Passion is good and necessary if you want to achieve excellence, but it can blind you to others windows of life.
The second part is the separation of Church from the State, I mean professional and private life. I don't think one can truly separate them. If things go bad on any one end, the other is affected. One has to be a machine to block one from the other. Besides people at work are humans after all and friendly relations can be forged with some of them. Every place I left, I took with me a good friend from whom I learned a lot professionally and stay in touch ever so often.
One can and should only strive to seek an optimum balance between work and home. One needs to keep your skills up to date to be competitive at work and also take care of the family so as to not worry about them at work. Taking a break like a vacation once in a while helps. Having hobbies and interests can be effective. Reading, gardening, watching TV and browsing works for me albeit that the latter two take too much of time that could be utilized for more constructive measures like blogging.
Happy July 4th to everyone and take some time off from work this weekend.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Expecting Parents FAQs
Should I Have one?
One of my friends posed this question 'Why have Kids?'. I could not answer it then, I don't have a right answer yet. That question never occurred to me. I just thought of it as a natural part of life. It was always a matter of when if not now. The question of when was answered with our planning of finances and career position. 'Should we?' was never raised. There was pressure from the grandparents and family but that did not alter our time frame. I could be philosophical about life being precious and that bringing one to the earth will be a right thing to do etc. But I am not philosophical. Now that my kid is here, she is a bundle of joy.
What does it cost?
This is a very touchy subject that raises a lot eyebrows and how dare he's. But the fact that kids cost a lot is a fact that one must be aware of before the plunge. From the day you know that your wife is pregnant, to the day the kids are independent and on their own, there are a lot of costs involved. I will summarize the immediate costs here and give a small estimate of what it might cost to raise one kid.
There will be monthly visits with your Obstetrician and in the ninth month there will be weekly visits. There will be 2-3 ultrasound scans of your wife for determining the wellness of your baby while inside. There might be emergency visits to the hospital. We had 3 emergency visits. One in the night and twice while she was at work. Luckily for my wife she works at a hospital and the emergency was a elevator button call away. But a good insurance is important. Find out what is covered and what is not. I have heard of scary stories where the bill came out to 25K etc. 25K might not be a lot for a few, but if you are an immigrant and just starting your life, it might mean a lot of debt for sometime. Some sites put the cost of delivery between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery. Of course this does not include other services like the suite, medication and health care in case of complications.
There will be stuff that you have buy for the infant baby that might cost 2K-3K depending on what and where you buy. I will list what to buy for the immediate few weeks and months later on. Then there is the cost of day care, play school, preschool, school, college education etc etc as they grow up. Here is a good summary of what it cost to have a baby. The calculator by the US Department of agriculture puts the annual cost of an infant at $20,500. The longer term cost to raise to the age of 17 at about 270K that's about $16K/annum. The first few years could be more expensive if you plan to have them in a day care or have a part-time/full-time nanny. Full time nanny can be $1500-$2500 out of your pocket. If you plan to fund their college education as most parents do add another 100K-150K. Basically what you could save towards your retirement would be channeled towards raising your kid.
What to buy before the kid is born?
I have listed the most items in the next section, but what I list here are other care giving matters.
Cord Blood Storage - If your family has a history of cancer or diabetes, you might consider storing Cord blood of your infant. Cord blood is the blood in the cord that could be collected at the time of delivery and stored for later usage. Cures to about 40 diseases have been found with stem blood. We have used Stembanc and it cost us about 2K including the registration and 20 years storage. There are other places like Cord Blood registry and Viacord that were expensive. It is kind of medical insurance. There are places where they do the storage for free but the blood stored there could be used for research purposes and could be used for other persons if the blood matches them. Utilizing private firms like Stembanc would ensure that your kids blood is saved for future in case your kid might need it.
The second thing is to find from the hospital your wife is scheduled for labor/c-section if they need a pediatrician appointed beforehand. Some insurance firms might need that your pediatrician be within your network etc.
Third but not least find from your insurance provider how and within what time frame you need to add your infant to your insurance plan. Typically the first month is covered under the mother's plan and you should add your kid to the plan within that time frame.
What to buy for infants?
It makes sense to start buying the items listed below a few months ahead of time as they list is quite big and procuring them is very time consuming. I bought most of the items from Walmart as I found them to be the cheapest and of same quality (many times same products at a far lower prices than Target or Babies R Us).
-----------
Tooling Around
_____Car seat - Infant Car Seat up to one year. You need a car seat to take your kid home. The nurse will come and inspect the safety of your car seat and I heard that they won't let your take your kid home unless you have a car seat. I was not sure about it but did not want to risk the safety of my kids. I bought Graco travel system.
_____Stroller -
_____Travel System - I bought Graco Travel system(carseat+stroller) for $155 at Walmart.
_____Booster seat for kids 20lbs and up. Not need to buy now. Could be bought later on when the kid is about to complete 12 months.
Beds and linens
_____Crib (if you plan to have a bassinet, you do not need this immediately)
_____Crib mattress. About $50-$70 at Walmart
_____Bassinet/cradle (if you don't want to put your baby in a crib right away. This could be good for only 3-6 months). $80 at Walmart
_____Two to three fitted crib sheets.
_____Four or more waffle-weave cotton receiving blankets for swaddling baby.
_____Two mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).
Swing/Rocker to make your infant sleep
_____Rocker - Fisher Price
_____Swing - Fisher Price
Diapers
_____Diapers. Disposables: One 40-count package of newborn (birth weight under 8 pounds) or of size 1 (birth weight over 8 pounds). Cloth: Two to three dozen, plus six to 10 snap-on, waterproof outer pants, and two to three sets of diaper pins, eight to 10 all-in-ones or diaper system covers;two to three dozen diaper system inserts. I bought a big box of Huggies containing 264 of them from Sam's club for $40.
_____Diaper pail (with refills or bags as needed).
_____Diaper bag.
Diaper Dispenser - Diaper Genie is one brand and you have buy the pail for storing used diapers.
Bathing/Grooming
_____Plastic infant bathtub. Summer bath tub spa from BabiesRUs for $30.
_____Three soft hooded towels.
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____Zinc-oxide-based diaper rash ointment.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent.
Extras: Nice but optional
_____Baby monitor.
_____Changing table - New one in target for $80.
_____Changing Pad - Babies R Us carries this for $30.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Sling or strap-on soft carrier. Walmart
_____Boppy, a Croissant-shaped pillow designed to make holding baby during breastfeeding or bottlefeeding easier. Bought it from Walmart $20. Very useful.
_____Nursing cover up. Attaches at your neck and allows for private breastfeeding when you and your baby are in public.
_____Infant swing - Fishcer Price Rain Forest in Amazon($112). Retail $140 in Babies R Us. If you are not buying Bassinet this is needed.
_____Bouncy seat/Bouncer.
_____Night-light. Any table lamb which is not brightly lit bulb would do. You don't want the kid in the dark, and you also want to sleep.
Some of these items could be bought at craigslist like the car seat and cribs. There is nothing wrong with that and do not feel guilty about doing that(like I did). Most parents are as careful as you and take good care of them.
Future Planning
529b plan for education.
I will add to this list as I learn my way along.
One of my friends posed this question 'Why have Kids?'. I could not answer it then, I don't have a right answer yet. That question never occurred to me. I just thought of it as a natural part of life. It was always a matter of when if not now. The question of when was answered with our planning of finances and career position. 'Should we?' was never raised. There was pressure from the grandparents and family but that did not alter our time frame. I could be philosophical about life being precious and that bringing one to the earth will be a right thing to do etc. But I am not philosophical. Now that my kid is here, she is a bundle of joy.
What does it cost?
This is a very touchy subject that raises a lot eyebrows and how dare he's. But the fact that kids cost a lot is a fact that one must be aware of before the plunge. From the day you know that your wife is pregnant, to the day the kids are independent and on their own, there are a lot of costs involved. I will summarize the immediate costs here and give a small estimate of what it might cost to raise one kid.
There will be monthly visits with your Obstetrician and in the ninth month there will be weekly visits. There will be 2-3 ultrasound scans of your wife for determining the wellness of your baby while inside. There might be emergency visits to the hospital. We had 3 emergency visits. One in the night and twice while she was at work. Luckily for my wife she works at a hospital and the emergency was a elevator button call away. But a good insurance is important. Find out what is covered and what is not. I have heard of scary stories where the bill came out to 25K etc. 25K might not be a lot for a few, but if you are an immigrant and just starting your life, it might mean a lot of debt for sometime. Some sites put the cost of delivery between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery. Of course this does not include other services like the suite, medication and health care in case of complications.
There will be stuff that you have buy for the infant baby that might cost 2K-3K depending on what and where you buy. I will list what to buy for the immediate few weeks and months later on. Then there is the cost of day care, play school, preschool, school, college education etc etc as they grow up. Here is a good summary of what it cost to have a baby. The calculator by the US Department of agriculture puts the annual cost of an infant at $20,500. The longer term cost to raise to the age of 17 at about 270K that's about $16K/annum. The first few years could be more expensive if you plan to have them in a day care or have a part-time/full-time nanny. Full time nanny can be $1500-$2500 out of your pocket. If you plan to fund their college education as most parents do add another 100K-150K. Basically what you could save towards your retirement would be channeled towards raising your kid.
What to buy before the kid is born?
I have listed the most items in the next section, but what I list here are other care giving matters.
Cord Blood Storage - If your family has a history of cancer or diabetes, you might consider storing Cord blood of your infant. Cord blood is the blood in the cord that could be collected at the time of delivery and stored for later usage. Cures to about 40 diseases have been found with stem blood. We have used Stembanc and it cost us about 2K including the registration and 20 years storage. There are other places like Cord Blood registry and Viacord that were expensive. It is kind of medical insurance. There are places where they do the storage for free but the blood stored there could be used for research purposes and could be used for other persons if the blood matches them. Utilizing private firms like Stembanc would ensure that your kids blood is saved for future in case your kid might need it.
The second thing is to find from the hospital your wife is scheduled for labor/c-section if they need a pediatrician appointed beforehand. Some insurance firms might need that your pediatrician be within your network etc.
Third but not least find from your insurance provider how and within what time frame you need to add your infant to your insurance plan. Typically the first month is covered under the mother's plan and you should add your kid to the plan within that time frame.
What to buy for infants?
It makes sense to start buying the items listed below a few months ahead of time as they list is quite big and procuring them is very time consuming. I bought most of the items from Walmart as I found them to be the cheapest and of same quality (many times same products at a far lower prices than Target or Babies R Us).
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Tooling Around
_____Car seat - Infant Car Seat up to one year. You need a car seat to take your kid home. The nurse will come and inspect the safety of your car seat and I heard that they won't let your take your kid home unless you have a car seat. I was not sure about it but did not want to risk the safety of my kids. I bought Graco travel system.
_____Stroller -
_____Travel System - I bought Graco Travel system(carseat+stroller) for $155 at Walmart.
_____Booster seat for kids 20lbs and up. Not need to buy now. Could be bought later on when the kid is about to complete 12 months.
Beds and linens
_____Crib (if you plan to have a bassinet, you do not need this immediately)
_____Crib mattress. About $50-$70 at Walmart
_____Bassinet/cradle (if you don't want to put your baby in a crib right away. This could be good for only 3-6 months). $80 at Walmart
_____Two to three fitted crib sheets.
_____Four or more waffle-weave cotton receiving blankets for swaddling baby.
_____Two mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).
Swing/Rocker to make your infant sleep
_____Rocker - Fisher Price
_____Swing - Fisher Price
Diapers
_____Diapers. Disposables: One 40-count package of newborn (birth weight under 8 pounds) or of size 1 (birth weight over 8 pounds). Cloth: Two to three dozen, plus six to 10 snap-on, waterproof outer pants, and two to three sets of diaper pins, eight to 10 all-in-ones or diaper system covers;two to three dozen diaper system inserts. I bought a big box of Huggies containing 264 of them from Sam's club for $40.
_____Diaper pail (with refills or bags as needed).
_____Diaper bag.
Diaper Dispenser - Diaper Genie is one brand and you have buy the pail for storing used diapers.
Bathing/Grooming
_____Plastic infant bathtub. Summer bath tub spa from BabiesRUs for $30.
_____Three soft hooded towels.
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____Zinc-oxide-based diaper rash ointment.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent.
Extras: Nice but optional
_____Baby monitor.
_____Changing table - New one in target for $80.
_____Changing Pad - Babies R Us carries this for $30.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Sling or strap-on soft carrier. Walmart
_____Boppy, a Croissant-shaped pillow designed to make holding baby during breastfeeding or bottlefeeding easier. Bought it from Walmart $20. Very useful.
_____Nursing cover up. Attaches at your neck and allows for private breastfeeding when you and your baby are in public.
_____Infant swing - Fishcer Price Rain Forest in Amazon($112). Retail $140 in Babies R Us. If you are not buying Bassinet this is needed.
_____Bouncy seat/Bouncer.
_____Night-light. Any table lamb which is not brightly lit bulb would do. You don't want the kid in the dark, and you also want to sleep.
Some of these items could be bought at craigslist like the car seat and cribs. There is nothing wrong with that and do not feel guilty about doing that(like I did). Most parents are as careful as you and take good care of them.
Future Planning
529b plan for education.
I will add to this list as I learn my way along.
Labels:
Life,
New Parents,
Parenthood
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