An Indian Needs his Fire.

If you are an Indian, you need your food to be hot. Hot not in the sense of being 100F or 120F, but in the sense of being spicy. We need it as hot as it can be. If you are new to US of A the closest fast food that would satisfy an Indian’s appetite for spicy food is Taco Bell. I have no doubt when I say, that the best way to curtail Indian Immigration is shut down all Taco Bells in USA.

An Indian can survive any inclement weather, any harsh working conditions as long as can get his spicy food. You take it away, his world crumbles. The other thing that Indians are fond of is Traveling. Have you seen any tourist destination? It is filled with Indians. No matter how remote the destination, you will always find Indians sightseeing the place, and there will always be an Indian restaurant there.

Indians crave spicy food and always are on the look out for Indian restaurant wherever they go. They must have Indian food. Have you been to an Indian Temple or any function, there is always a huge line at the food and crazy confusion to be the first one to get the food. They don’t want to miss out on the food. They have come this long and will not go without the food. They would rather miss the event they came for, but not the spicy Indian food at the event.

Having said that, Taco Bell is our savior. Since Indian restaurant’s are not everywhere and they are highly expensive, we go to Taco Bell as our cheap fast food option. But what makes a Taco Bell so attractive to Indians. First the food is spicy and has rice on their menu. We hate the concept of salads and meat loaf stuffed between a bun(burger). Salad is what we call gaddi in telugu(grass) or gaas poos in Hindi(grass with rhyming word appended to it to make it a good phrase). Meaning they are meant to be eaten by animals and not by humans. Burger are sometimes okay as long as they are spicy burgers. They are also highly dry. Burger King, McDonald's and Wendy's have all played with Spicy Burgers on their menu and discontinued them.

If you had looked at these fast food chains Ethnic statistics(if there was any), there would have been a huge spike in Indian customers at these places when these spicy burgers were on their burger menu and a even higher phenomenal drop when they were dropped from their menu. While I was in school at Morgantown, my friends and myself would visit Burger King quite often as long as they had Jalapeno Poppers. We would get Baja Chalupa and Spicy Burrito from Taco Bell and go to Burger King right across the street for the poppers and have our food there for about an hour. We were students, we were in no hurry to finish the food fast. We went to fast food not because we were short on time, but because we were short on dime (meaning cash).

I will get back to my story of why we like Taco Bell. The food being offered is spicy and has rice on half of their menu. But that is not good enough. It is only quarter of the whole pie. The remaining part of the pie is in the magical quotient that God has sent us to all Indians in North America called ‘Taco Bell Fire Sauce’. This Taco Bell Fire Sauce is next to Ambrosia. Taco Bell Fire Sauce is to humans as Ambrosia was for Angels. We do not need a mild sauce or a hot sauce. We need only the Fire Sauce and lots of it.

I also have designated numbers for each item on the Menu just like there are octane grades in Gasoline. Like a Chalupa is 4, Chicken Wrap supreme is 6, soft taco 3 etc. These numbers vary very slightly among Indians. The numbering is based on a highly complex algorithm. The number is defined as the number of Taco Bell Fire Sauce we need for these items on the menu. The other factor determining the number is the hotness factor of the food. If the food is hot it’s number is less and vice versa which is quite obvious. Also the dryness quotient is an important factor. A chalupa and a crunch wrap requires more. But a burrito would need less.

But every story has a villain. Authority, as in every place, has it’s way of poking it’s ugly hand in the people’s business. They like to dictate what we like and what we do not like. In this case the authority is the delivery person at a Taco Bell drive through. Whenever an Indian goes through a Taco Bell drive through, he does not fail to let the person know how many fire sauce he needs. Well he can only request, but he will not get what he asked. Like a pay check is deducted almost 30% of your hard earned income, the taco bell authority will cut the number of taco bell fire sauce you requested. The number you get depends on how cranky the authority is that day, or what he believes is required by you, or what he believes your tolerance quotient is based on his own intuition which will be biased, based on his own tolerance for this precious commodity. If the authority is Indian, the number might be close to what you asked. If the number is white or black or yellow then the number is definitely going to be low. You might only get 50% what you asked for. If the authority is brown(Hispanic or South American) then your number might be close to 80%.

But an Indian does not deter from fighting the authority back on his right to get the required number of fire sauce. The Indian will count the number given to him at the delivery window. If the number is less, he will ask for more though he is well aware of the impending condescending, frustrated expression on the authority’s face. He will count his number one more time. The number is still going to be less. Some will get satisfied with this. But there are some mavericks like me, who would park the car in the parking lot, go in and get some more until he is satisfied that the fire sauce would be sufficient. Some more hot headed guys would start a fight. This fight between the Indian and Authority, that I have noticed and participated since 9 years, still goes on. As a continuation of this fight for fire sauce I started a slogan which one day, I hope will spread like Fire. The slogan is

“An Indian needs his Fire”

An Indian needs his fire sauce. There is no second option. It is his birth right.

Mountaineers and Football

Mountaineers and Football are inseparable. Any guy with who calls himself a Mountaineer would follow Football ardently. I am big fan of Mountaineer Football. I try to watch every game that the Mountaineers play with a religious fervor. I hate seeing them lose, and am overboard when they win. You can say when it comes to Mountaineers Football, I can't hide my emotions much.

Mountaineer football can be a roller coaster ride with a lot of soap operaish off the field drama going on. Like last season, they would have been in once a lifetime Championship game, had they not lost to the lowly miserable bunch called Pittsburgh. They lost their championship hope by the loss to them where they could not make a single touchdown. All they could muster were some field goals.

Then comes the Fiesta Bowl game where they blow the Sooners 48-28 with such ease that made us all so proud. In all this is the Head Coach Rich Rodriguez drama who chickened and bailed out at the end of the regular season to Michigan. He lost his first game this year with Michigan which I think he well deserved - that selfish brat of a kid called Head Coach Rich Rodriguez.

This year they started with a high note winning easily against Villanova. Then came the true test with ECU which they lost with no signs of a team that won against the mighty Sooners in the Fiesta Bowl. I know ECU was tough team but not having to muster a touch down is hard to fathom. All they could get was a single field goal. So much for talk of a potential Championship contender and a possible Heisman for Pat White. Any hope of either of them are gone when they lose the next game to Colorado 17-14 in a closely contested game. A closely contested game is not good enough.

A good team comes out of closely contested games. It shows some character for a team to come out of holes. This team had the Heisman Candidate Pat White returning with Noel Divine as his running mate. He also has the senior line backers returning this year. The only change is the coaching staff. But this was the same coaching staff that won the Fiesta Bowl.

Anyways that my Mountaineers for you. One week they are up and the very next week they are down. This is what makes them lose the credibility points like that in the Teams in SEC. The important thing though for the Mountaineers is to have schedules with tough teams including those in the SEC. This year they have some good games lined up and the most important is against the Auburn of the SEC. They should consistently have games against the tough teams and eventually the Team will get better. They should stop having their schedule filled with teams like Marshall just for the sake of winning. Sure you can a 11-1 or 10-2 at the end of your normal schedule but if 6-7 of those wins come against teams like Marshall what good is that.

I am glad that this years schedule is tougher than last years. And as always lets cheer our team - Lets Go 'Eers.

Why Bother To Forward?

I hate forwards. Forwards are emails sent to you by your friends or colleagues about something supposedly for interest to you. 99% percent of these forwards are junks/myths/urban legends twisted. These forwards talk about the character of the person forwarding them. This ofcourse is my classifaction and none of this is personal. It is just a character assessment based on the forwards and many fall under more than one category.

Religious coward: These forward email about some divine myth/ story about something good or bad had happened and they prayed to this/that god and things have changed permanently for them. So they start this chain and curse upon on those who dont spread the chain. They believe in the curse (God being the supreme being does not curse you on such silly matters as not forwarding a story about him to someone else) and will forward to one who believes that stuff and those that dont believe in that stuff.

E-Capitalists: Remember that email chain about microsoft doing a secret survey and if you forward the email that he sent you, you will be millionaire in no time. These guys believe in instant gratification by doing a simple task of causing inconvenience by forwarding the junk to others and hoping to get rich by their benign deed.

Scare Crows: Recently I had a email forwarded from a colleague anout being careful when picking vegetables from an indian grocery store. Apparently there was a woman who died from a unseen snake hiding in the vegetables and was found dead on returning to the car with froth coming out of her mouth. Pretty graphic and bollywood like. These are fear mongerers.

Political Pundits: These guys send articles or email chains about politicians that are on the other side of their political fence. Anything negative that they can find, even if that is a myth, is an opportunity not to be lost.

Well Wishers: I had a friend who was fine until one day he began to send emails that contained images with content of philosophy, living life to the fullest and things like that. Guess why that happened. He got married and he began to see roses in everything. His wife subscribes to some website that sends her this kind of email. She forwards it to him. And he in turn sends those greetings to everyone he knows. I know you care for us, but dude keep your wife's greetings with you.

Nature Admirers: These are those that send anything wonderful they see about nature. Like the amazing pictures of the Seven Wonders of the World or the recent Olympics opening ceremony in China. These are kind of email forwards that you would have seen a long time ago, and this guy stumbled upon them only recently and cannot wait until he shares his discovery to the world.

Technology Warlords: These guys are those that are on one side of the technology rivalry like that between Apple and Microsoft. They send anything negative about the technology they hate and anything remotely positive about the technology they like. They also send emails about some cool work places, like Google office having a nice Play Pen and bed to sleep if you want. They send this only if the firm deals with technology they like or is also to rival to the technology they hate.

Bummerman Take 2

A couple days after I wrote about this social Bummerman, I found that he was no longer under the bridge that I saw him until then. I guess the Clean Philadelphia program by Mr.Nutter is the mysterious hand behind this guy missing. I spoke to my colleagues a week later about him and they said they saw him a couple blocks south of our building. I never saw him myself.

I met him near the Von Colln Field close to the Art Museum area . I spoke to him bit hesitantly at first. It was not like I speak to homeless people daily. In fact it was the first time that had I made an initiative to speak to a member of this socially outcast members of our society.

He is from Baltimore and was also in minor league once. He had coached kids in the little league for a few years. The kids in the baseball park come to him for tips on their game. He also attended medical school for 3 years and dropped out as he did not like it. He taught at a school for a while.

I found that he is between jobs and has friends who drop on him once in a while. It looks like he did a lot of things before settling into his current status. There might be a lot other things that one does not and cannot disclose to a stranger on the first conversation. But I had no doubt in my mind while accepting his story. My friend called me naive when I told him that he was not on drugs. I do not mind being naive as against judging a person. I have done that mistake once but not anymore.

Now that I spoke to him, I have lot more questions. Is this his choice, is he happy, how about his heathcare, how about his food. He did answer to some of my questions, but it strikes a little difficult to be living as such voluntarily, especially for a guy who is educated and smart. One such question was where does he sleep now, as his home has been cleaned up by the city. He keeps walking around the city in the night and sleeps during the day because the city officials would not let them sleep in the night on the benches.

I recently read a book called Gang Leader for a Day: A Rogue Sociologist Takes to the Streets by Sudhir Venkatesh. That book has created an entry into the field of sociology in my mind. It's a coincidence that I met Mr.Bummerman and my interest to understand the sociological incentives have when people like Bummerman decide to stay in their current circumstances. The sad part is that I do not remember his name. I promise this to myself that the next time, I talk to him, I will know his name and will no longer address him as Bummerman.

Long Way From Home

'Long way from Home, Boy', I thought to myself several times the last couple of years. It has been 10 years since I left home and 9 years in USA. I have been to different places like a wandering Samurai - Baroda, Morgantown, Pittsburgh, Dallas, Philadelphia. But nothing has come close to home, never felt the same like h0me. Morgantown and then Philly come close but they are as close as horizon. There are several things I like about living in Philly, my lifestyle has improved since college and am in good place I think.

But there are certain things that I miss. I miss the cold ocean breeze and the hot summer days. I miss the convenience store whose owner is an obnoxious snob but lets stuff out on credit. I miss the gang of guys making passes at cute girls in the street corner. I miss the teeth bites while trying to mediate a silly dispute between two young girls. I miss being pulled out of line for a first day first show after waiting in line for 3 hours and buying the tickets in black for a farce in the name of movie called 'Kondapalli Raja'.

I miss waking up at 5:00 AM to be at the tuition center for IIT. Never been any close to getting into IIT. I miss being the scared kid on the first day at school(AUCE college). I miss the road side junk food at the beach. I miss the cricket at my friends backyard with shady rules like one bounce catch.

I miss the soothing shade under the coconut tree in front of my home. The coconut trees are no longer there, but their imagery is still intact. I miss the sweet smell of jasmines from the 8 ft long Jasmine plant in my backyard planted by Mom. They must have grown longer. I miss the sweet taste of guava from my backyard.

I miss the tender touch of my 12 lb and 1 year old niece who is 11 years now. I miss not seeing the reaction on my nephew's face when he puts on the Spiderman costume I sent him. Most of all I miss my family. I miss not being for them when they need me. I say to myself several times a year 'You are long way from Home, Boy'.

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Above is an expanded version of my prompt for 'You are long way from Home, Boy' at my writer's workshop.

Commodities in Coin

I have read this story a long time ago about the smuggling of coins made with silver in India to Bangladesh. It was fascinating to me because the story told me that the metal that these coins were made is worth more than the face value of these coins.

So why do I revisit this story after decade and half? I have a friend who is 76 and never fails to pick up a penny if he sees one on the street. He told me how he had collected coins like that and recieved $500 from the bank for the coins he picked off of the street. He questions 'How can a country not respect a value of its pennys? It is worth something'. It got me thinking why people do not value penny and what had happened the coins in India. They were smuggled and allowed to be smuggled because the people felt there have value to them as they 5, 10 and 25 paise.

I mentioned about the story of the low end coins from India that were once smuggled to Bangladesh. He was amazed to hear it and surprising there was show on TV called '60 minutes' which ran story recently after our conversation.

I wanted to see if I can find the story online somewhere that I read in a Telugu daily some 15 years ago.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6766563.stm
http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/004528.html

Reaping flowers and Vegetables

A few weeks ago, my wife had this crazy idea that she wanted a garden just like her home in India. I am like there goes another case of 'Just like in India'. But not the one to say no, I agreed. The experience that followed was an eye opener.(Please read eye as wallet.)

So we went to Home Depot and began looking for flowers and pots to hold them. I almost fainted at the price of each flower plant and the pots. I saw this bunch of Mums for $5. The only place I am going to spend my five dollars are at Subway where any foot long sub is now only $5. I said that to her and she replied we can have our dinner today at Subway. It was Saturday and we are vegetarians on Saturday. I was in no mood for Veggie Delight. I understood well that I should listen to what she wants and avoid the trouble of having to do something that I don't want.

So she picked some mums, gazanias, violets and other flower plants that I have no idea what they are. Not to be left out, I said what about some vegetables. So were added kung pao peppers, violet bell peppers and vine tomatoes. I was like these should be enough let’s check out.

She says no no no no no. I don't want my flowers in these tiny containers. We need some nice flower pots and also some big trays for your vegetables she said. OK let’s go I say hurrying her to the pots section. We bought about 5 porcelain pots for some indoor decorative plants we already had, 4 plastic big pots for the flowers and three 18 inch trays one for the vegetables and two for flowers. Did you know that the trays in white are more expensive than the trays colored brown? Damn you racist color biased Home Depot shouted my inner self.

So I say again let’s check out. She says no no no no no. We need potting soil. The soil that we have with pots is not enough. The plants will die in a day on transplanting she says. She had a point. But who on earth in India buys mud and soil. Wasn't the whole point to have a life style like in India? She says our family always bought it. I thought my family was smart not to buy mud. We have enough soil in our backyard for plants. But I was hungry and did not want to start a losing fight. I also thought how much can a soil cost. All they have to do is package free soil in a plastic bag. A dollar at most, I guess. Was I WRRROOONNNNGGGG.

There are hundreds of soil types - garden soil, potting soil, 3 month, 4 month, everlasting, 1cf, 2cf, 5cf etc. And none of them was close to a dollar I estimated earlier. I picked two 1cf bags that weighed about 15 lbs each and put them on the cart. I said is there anything else. Nope we can go now unless you want more flowers she says. My response was No thank you we can go now. I fainted again as the register was ringing into 3 digits. Home Depot was hearing the sweet sound of cha ching while I was paying for mud.

By the time we reached home it was 3PM. We had our lunch on our way home. It took almost 3 more hours to transplant all the plants in the pots and trays. We also shouted and scolded each other as to why each of us was doing wrong. After 2 hours, I guess she was tired of planting the virtual garden or was tired of my incessant knowledge transfer of gardening skills and how to do them right. She left me on the balcony and never came back leaving me to finish my vegetables. I planted them all and went to be bed tired that night.

The next day I was talking to my friend and told him about my gardening expedition. He mocks me 'What? Are you going to reap flowers?’ I don't know but I hope to see some flowers in my wife's hand and atleast a pepper in my food for 120 bucks.

I did see some flowers and the peppers coming out today after about a month. I also saw some flower plants die and the peppers infested with achids. That's my next episode to get rid of those tiny slimy achids. I never thought I will be a farmer which was my ancestral occupation. I guess I have to now, if I am to see something out of investment.

Pure Vegetarian?

Last week my wife received a phone call from a friend whom she invited to visit us for dinner. My wife’s friend gave a courtesy call to confirm that her husband and herself will not be coming on Saturday but can make it on Sunday. My wife makes her favorite chicken curry and biryani on Sunday which is a customary habit brought over from her family. So she asked casually if they eat chicken. That was it. I could hear a barrage of hysteric cry on the phone from the other side. The cry was so loud that I could overhear her from a tiny cell phone that my wife was talking through while we were driving through a noisy intersection.

I know this post of mine will catch the nerves of some, but it does catch my nerve whenever I hear them say this - 'I am a 100% pure vegetarian' and they ramble about hysterically as to what should not be in their food as if the whole world out there is conspiring to get them to eat meat. I mean what does the phrase ‘100% pure vegetarian’ mean anyway.

If the above Para has some of you vegetarians fuming, sorry this is not meant to hurt every vegetarian out there. But please read through for what I am saying. I understand and respect your way of life. You want to be vegetarian whatever your reason might be. Good for you.

There seems to this superior feeling that they belong to higher strata in society fizzled by the Hindu theory of quad structured society and the top of it being the vegetarian sect. This sense of standing on a higher pedestal makes them look down upon us meat eating non-vegetarians that are bent on bringing them down to our level by contaminating their food with Non-Veg. Sorry to put a brake on your fast moving fancy dreams but there is no such conspiracy. You can have you veggies and leave our meat alone.

But what exactly does 100% pure vegetarian mean. Isn't 100% mean absolute pure that you have to qualify the 100% pure. Somebody is poor with maths. So is it % based on time or ingredients. This is what I mean. I eat veggies 5 days a week. Does that make me 71% pure? Or doesn't that qualify. If someone eats diary products like milk and cheese vegans don’t consider them vegetarians. So those of you who consume diary products are 82% pure vegetarians and vegans are 100%.

If you put the factoring of %s aside, socializing with some of these becomes a nightmare. I had a friend that I used to go out with. He had consumed chicken and beef before for a long time, but coming from a family of vegetarians, his sister took an oath to never to eat meat when he came to USA. Doesn't it seem like Manoj Kumar's movie and all so touching? Yes the story is touching but not socializing with him. So every time I went to have lunch/dinner to a restaurant, it was the same story. He would begin the order with 'I am a 100% pure vegetarian. I don't eat chicken, no beef, no pork, no fish, and no eggs'. He would go on and on enumerating all the animals, with his fingers out and counting them that would possibly be eaten by the lowly meat eating people. God! The guy taking an order would look at me and I would try hard to not meet my eyes with him and sometimes hide under the table to avoid embarrassment. It is even more hilarious if the restaurant was Chinese. After all his rambling there would be egg in his fried rice and pork in his spring roll.

For those of you who do not what kind of vegetarian you are a quick Google on types of vegetarian will provide the following classification and some say you can say vegetarian only if you are vegan.
Pescatarian
Flexitarian/Semi-vegetarian
Lacto-ovo- vegetarian
Lacto-vegetarian
Ovo-vegetarian
VeganRaw
Vegan
Macrobiotic
Fruitarian

So next time please specify what kind of vegetarian you are or just say you are a vegetarian. We all know what you mean. You do not need to qualify 100% and pure.

But the vegetarians have their own problems that I am fully aware of. I am a forced vegetarian for 2 days a week. Dont ask me why? It will be one of those movie stories albiet a cliched chick movie at that. Married men have to make a lot of sacrificies to keep the lady happy. The options to vegetarians dining out is very limited. The standard is Taco Bell with the order being 'Chalupa replace meat with beans por favor'. At BK it is the Veggie burger and at subway the Veggie delight. You need 2 footlongs of those Veggie delights from Subway to satisfy your hunger. There is also Qdoba that have veggie burritos and my favorite is Mexican Gumbo. If you have tried it, you should. It is like Indian sambar rice, only it is Mexican and very tasty. The list seems to be long enough but if you think about it for a minute not every place you live or work has all the 4 places I mentioned above. In most cases you have at most one of them and you are stuck with eating the same thing over and over again.

Friendly Neighbourhood Bummerman

I have been thinking of writing about this man that I see several times week ever since I joined my current client. I park my car about 4 blocks from the building that I work now. About a block north of my work building is a Bridge and underneath the bridge, which is part of a huge parking lot, is the home of this middle aged man I had mentioned earlier.

Imagine this - The story is that of a comic strip super hero. The season is peak winter where it is snowing about 2 to 3 days a week for about 6 inches. Read the following with a baritone of a western movie opening - When the weather is cold, the roads are slippery, all hope of a smooth walk wades and good grip on a shoe can't help, here comes the friendly neighborhood bummerman who will clean the pavement for you and sprinkle salt so to make your commute to work easy.

As you might have guessed I stole the phrase from Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman. I like Spiderman who doesn’t?

This guy is a bum who had made his home under the bridge for quite sometime now. But he is no ordinary Bum. If you have been to Philadelphia or New York you cannot escape the sight of these people - the Bums. The only emotion on seeing these guys is fear and suspicion. The other thing is the stench which makes you run from them fast and a mile far. But they are present everywhere and you wish you had no nose as you keep encountering them every other block or two. After a while you get used to their presence as they become familiar faces. This man is one such familiar face.

But this guy other than his way of living and style of dressing (if I can call it a style) is a regular guy. He is very sociable and social conscious. He keeps the half block under the bridge really clean and well maintained. He cleans away the snow in winter and sprinkles salt. In fact he does the job that the Philadelphia City must be doing and he does it regularly and better than them. As for being sociable, I have seen him talk to different commuters who park their car in the parking lot under the bridge and are on their way to work or back from work. He seems to have a good following among the fairer sex especially.

But this is only a part of the story. The other part is what I can see of his belongings on the other side of the cage partition of the parking lot. He has a lot of books and they are no ordinary books. Most of them are undergraduate school books ranging from sciences, mathematics to finance and marketing. He also has a pile of new National Geographic as if he has a subscription delivered to his door.

No he does not have the regular free news paper metro that other Bums use to make it their beds. In fact I saw no traces of news paper. He has a pile of clothes and bedding on one side. I once saw a huge set of dumbbells as well and other hardware set like nuts, bolts, screws etc. I have no idea where he gets them and where they go after a week or so. He always refurnishes his home with new decor.

I have seen him read books most of the time when he is not chatting with people or when he is not cleaning the pavement and his home. I saw him read books related to finance and marketing most of the time. I have also seems some books placed a little far away from him home on the pavement as if to suggest the books could be taken away by anyone interested. Most of them get washed away by rain or gets trashed. Who wants used books and one read by a Bum anyway?

I couldn't help notice the title of this book on his pile this morning - 'How to save money, Smart'. I smiled a bit at the irony of his life and book he was reading. I thought it is a little bit too late for him to be smart with money now. If he was smart with Money during his early days he wouldn't have been in this situation, I judged because he was normal by all other means.

But as I was discussing this guy with my other colleagues and they had noticed him too. His mention lead to huge discussion about the merits of his lifestyle. He does not have to pay rent nor taxes. He does not need car to commute as he begs for stuff right there at the parking lot. His commute to work is zero minutes. He does not catch the eye of the officials by being friendly to the people and cleaning up the pavement regularly. It is less likely that one reports a Bum living under a bridge when he helps them from getting hurt. No burden of family and he has the house for all himself.

In fact one of my colleagues from NJ mentioned about how he noticed a bum who carried a monthly pass to New York City daily. He would be in bum’s attire in the morning and in the evening he would have a regular wear like anybody else. The bum’s attire was his work wear and being a bum in New York was his profession. He must have been making quite well to have monthly pass to NY City from South Jersey.

I guess our Philadelphia friendly neighborhood bummerman was really reading an appropriate book and living the life of the book title.

Why I went natural?

This is the story of how I turned from using regular sugar to natural sugar aka honey. Here is how it went.

Once upon a time there lived a gentleman who was happy having his occasional coffee with regular sugar. He was healthy and had BWI of 21 so to say he did not need artificial sugars nor did he like them. In fact he hated the taste they had and also the fact that they had side effects.

His lifestyle changed a bit after he married and moved to Scranton. He had to travel once a week to Philadelphia which was about 2:45 hrs one way. So to reach his office in Philadelphia by 9:00 AM he would start at around 6:00AM and in order to do that he had to wake up at 5:00AM. So that is quite early for this lazy, wake up at 8:00AM, casual person. His life turned upside down with this but he found a partner in caffeine.

Being an avaricious reader, he found that too much caffeine is bad and found that Tea is a better alternative as it has lower Caffeine and has antioxidants that are good for his allergies. So he began to drink Tea instead of coffee. But this habit turned out not so good to his young bride who loved her sleep a lot more than he does.

He pleads to his wife to make his Tea on the day of his journey. She abides to his request despite her love for sleep. But the story does not end there. If you remember the story is about how he went natural. Well here is what happened next.

The first day she made Tea she used Sweet N Low. Being a nit picker he instantly recognized the taste of non cane artificial sugar. Not only did the sugar taste differently, but he could taste nothing but sugar. It was as if he was drinking High Fructose Corn Syrup. What happened was she used about 5 packs of Sweet N Low in an
8oz Tea.

He got rid of all the Sweet N Low that got into his home accidentally. This made him feel that all will be fine despite his hardships now that he will have his good caffeine friend for company. Not so fast said his wife non-verbally.

The next time around he found himself drinking an exotic tea that could be found nowhere on earth. He had tasted all kinds of tea including black tea with no sugar. But he was drinking a Double Salted Tea this time. In her sleepish nonchalance she had used two spoons of salt from the container next to the sugar. If she was awake, she would have noticed the blue/black cover with a girl in yellow frock carrying an umbrella. She did notice nothing of that sort. All she saw was salt was white and she knew sugar was white.

Now the worried king (in his dreamland) wondered how he can fix this. He was not willing to make the tea himself. He had lots of other things to take care of that morning the important of which is getting up at 5:00AM which he would snooze to wake up at 5:30AM from when he would be like a chicken with it's head cut out. Nor does he have the extra 10 Min's to take a break at the service plaza for coffee.

So he decided that only way is to find something that was not sugar but sweet. He was watching TV one evening while thinking for a solution. He was watching Seinfeld his all-time favorite show and during break they had a clip of an interview with Jerry Seinfeld the writer/producer of the show. He was talking about his break since the show became syndicated and was promoting his new movie where he provides a voice over to the prime character. The name of the move - Bee Movie.

All those who say TV is an idiot box are nuts he thought. A solution to his problem stung like a Bee. He put on his shoe, took his jacket and went out to his favorite store the mighty Wal-Mart. He went to the cereal aisle and bought himself an 8lb Honey bottle.

He called his dear life mate and said sweetly....
HONEY! use this HONEY!!!!

They lived naturally ever after.