Father's day, remembering one and being one

It has been several months since I have blogged. It is not because of lack of ideas, nor is lack of want. I think it is lack of time. But today on Dad's day, I wanted to post something about my Dad. I want to start out with wishing all my friends 'Happy Father's Day'. I am typing this while my kid is sleeping and the lady of the house at work.

It was almost 16-18 years ago that this incident happened. It is one of those events in your life that may not be spectacular by regular standards but still leaves a lasting impression in your mind. My Dad would have been in his mid forties. I don't remember the purpose but I do remember that I was going with my parents for something to buy in the old city(aka downtown) of my hometown. We couldn't take my Dad's scooter as I was quite grown up by then and three of us on a tiny scooter would be awkward. So we were taking the public transportation in the form of a bus. As in any country these public transportation buses were irregular and would not stop at the right location. So it turned out that my mom and myself got off the bus at the wrong stop while my Dad remained in the bus. It was the days when there were no cell phones yet. So our departure from the bus meant that we most likely would have lost few hours finding each other. My Dad saw us on the road from the moving bus and we didn't do much except to be surprised that he was still in the bus. We realized that this was the wrong stop. But then my Dad did something that amazes me even today.

My Dad never had the gift of good health. He had by-pass surgery during a period when Heart diseases were a big risk to life. I have seen him and my family at the most vulnerable. Since then I have always seen my Dad as someone who was not physically gifted and agile. He was not a risk taker nor was he an adventurous person and that did not help better his image in my mind.

So on this fateful day, this was what I saw. This is an act that millions of teens do everyday in every town of India without skipping a heartbeat. I have myself done that reckless act several times prior to that day and on couple occasions have gotten my shirt and pants ripped while kissing the asphalt. The fact that this act was done by MY DAD was something eventful for me. The gentleman who always taught me to be careful and cautious had done this. The bus was speeding off and had gotten to almost full speed. My Dad got through the crowd on the foot board and jumped off the bus. He didn't jump off in an awkward fashion and fall off. He was facing the direction the bus was going, had his left leg landed on the road, let go off his right hand holding the bus, and went into a inertia led run off on the road with his right leg forward. His first few steps forward were with such quickness, I feared he would not be able to control the speed and would fall and hurt himself. Well he did not fall. He completed the act with the panache of a veteran teen. I was in late teens and had gotten into a 'teach your parent' spurt. But this time I was spellbound. My mom had a few things to say to my Dad while I kept my mouth shut. I learned that a vulnerable old man can sometimes surprise you with acts that you never thought he was capable of.
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Moving to current times, I now am a father of my three year old. Like my Dad, I am always preaching carefulness, cautiousness to my daughter. I am not sure she understands any of that but it is kind of a habit now for me. My family thinks I may be a little over protective of her which I completely deny. So this one day we were at the playground and saw a girl who looked younger than mine with her parents. The girl with the help of her Dad was able to climb up a ladder lattice sort of thing made of chains. This ladder thing leads to the slides. There are other ways to get to the slides like the regular stairs. I was amazed that this younger kid could climb up this difficult wobbling ladder. I even complained to my wife about this and how our kid cannot do this. She gave me a look and did not say much. The next day, I was with my daughter at the same park. While my kid was playing, I began to think. I just assumed that my kid could not climb the ladder. I did not ever take her to that set of slides. I decided to take my kid to those set of slides that had the chain ladders. With little encouragement and support, my kid was able to easily climb up the stairs. Not only did she climb the ladders, she came back down and climbed up another rock climbing sort of setup that was taller and difficult with little support from me.

We tend to believe that our family members are capable of certain limited things and incapable of several other 'cool' things based on what you see and hear. My Dad taught me not to pigeonhole the capabilities of your family. Several years later, my daughter is teaching me the same lesson again.