The events that took place last week could be summed up by the idiom 'When it rains, it pours'. It was the first time, I was leaving home after the birth of our cutie pie. That was slightly depressing enough, but I brushed it aside as a mere part of life where we have to do things leaving our loved one's behind. For some reason the two and half hour drive that morning was exhausting and I desperately wanted a rest. After work at around 6:30 PM, I went to a grocery store to pick some vegetables where my brother joined me. He moved into a new apartment in Center city and I do not have a copy of the key. So we go to his bachelor pad together and what do we find. The main door to his apartment was open slightly without the lights on. My suspicious brain triggered something was amiss. I ordered my brother not to enter the apartment outright and to knock the door to find if anybody answers. There was no response. So my brother went inside and thought everything was fine. But my mind was reading something else. There was lots of stuff thrown on the bed, every drawers from his side table were on the floor. The doors to his friends room and to the basement were open. There were screws on the floor with a non-uniform wooden wedge next to them. I looked at the door casing and quickly knew that the wooden wedge was a result of a forced open of the door. The burglar broke open the main door with sheer force and my brother's room with an iron chair from the kitchen.
We called the landlord and dialed 911. They both turned about two hours later. The cops think it was some homeless guy looking for cash and valuables like jewelry that could be cashed quickly. He concluded that in few minutes as nothing was missing from the other bedroom, whereas every valuable that was in my brother's room iPod, couple watches, currency, loads of coins were stolen. His roommate had valuable items like printers, camera, projector etc but just not valuable enough to the homeless guy. To top it off there was a cassette FM radio player missing from the living room.
The next day was even worse. The news broke that they were plans to layoff 500 employees at work. Then at the end of the day I was crossing a road while I was walking to my car. There were a bunch of cars waiting at the signal. A kitten jumped out of nowhere and slid under the tire of a car. It was drizzling and it was chilly. The cat thought that corner of the car tire was cozy. As soon as this happened, the signal turned green and car raced off. While the car was moving, the cat moved an inch, hesitated and stayed back only to be driven over by the car. The kitten was crushed. It jumped thrice in the air and that's it, laid there on the floor dead. All this happened in a few seconds and I was still frozen. It was saddening and I was feeling sick now.
I reached the car and was thinking what else could go wrong. I put everything in the trunk and sat in the car to start the ignition. Lo and behold I see an envelope behind the glass in front of me. It was a parking ticket. Guess what! My inspection expired and the PPA granted me a violation for the expired inspection. I did not know how I let my car inspection sticker expire. Nor did I know that parking authorities issue ticket for the same. I was depressed now. I was even superstitious if all these events were omens and something worse was yet to come. I even entertained postponing my ride back home. I spent a few minutes in silence so as to gather myself and set off to one last stop - the Indian grocery store on my way home. I am so glad the week passed by quick after those dreadful two days.
But these events only enhanced my belief in the randomness of life and taught me a new lesson - Preventing and protecting oneself against potential huge losses is more important than making several small savings. When you lose money, like in a break-in, the losses are typically huge. They can erode all the small savings that one makes over a period(ranging from months to years) of time. I plan to get myself a renter's insurance and worry less about checking multiple stores for making small purchases.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Professional and Private life, can we truly separate them?
A few days ago a couple of our friends who happen to be my spouses' co-workers visited us. Here is a conversation that happened.
"The patient had tidal volume down. BP in control, prone ventilation, atrial fibrillation. On epinephrine, pco2 from 60 to 70. Oxygen in monitor at 50. ativan drip, saturation 50, heart rate 100, levofed 150. ARDS and can nothing if she is not responding. She has bed sores. She has AIDS, no WHITE blood cells in the body. Everyone is afraid to touch her for fear of worsening her condition."
This is a very typical conversation when these medical residents meet. It does not matter who else is around them. Their conversation does not go beyond their patients and the hospital settings. I have tried to steer them to other conversation like my favorite team Lakers winning the championship. What I call normal conversation (like everything other than work) is a rarity and is very short lived with these folks which could be testing while others (people not working in a medical profession) are around. I have gotten used to these conversations and actually am amused by their interest in the field. I am also sometimes shocked to hear certain things, but that is beyond the topic of this post.
I am a strong believer in having a private life outside of work. Meaning not to ignore work but there should be boundaries. When I leave work, my other life begins which is interrupted only when things are critical and stressful at work. This enables me to have other wise pursuits in life like watching TV and getting all the exciting world news from The Daily Show by Jon Stewart etc. I can hardly imagine a nerdy tech talk outside work which goes something like this
'The server load had exceeded leading to a network failure bringing the server down. The memory of 8Gigs was not sufficient. So we are trying to double that RAM. But the servers space is limited and server runs of 2000 which is way old. It is time to move to Windows 2008 with .Net framework 3.5 and last but not least it should at least have IIS 6.0. IP v6.0 would be nice but our entire server system has to be changed which is unlikely at this point. On top of it the vendor support is not so good. And the developers produce memory leaking software without any null checks causing the logs to be filled every weak with information about errors. No wonder the business is always behind doing data batch uploads to the database causing bandwidth strain on the database servers. BTW have you tried the new iPhone it is super cool and fast.'
This is the extent of my nerdy tech talk. I think most people familiar with computers can understand most of it but it still is associated with a server admin professional. I cannot have a conversation like that daily after work.
Having said all of this, there are couple questions that should be raised in this context.
1. Why do medical professionals (insert any other profession) invariably return to their work in a casual settings.
2. Can one truly separate Professional and Private life.
The causes for the first question could be multiple. One needs to understand the work setting. In the case of Medical Residents, they spend about 80 hours a week working at the hospital which is double the time a normal person spends at work. This means it takes away 40 valuable hours away from the medical professionals life which could be used for other pursuits outside work. Then there are the stress levels to consider. My job can hardly be considered stressful. There were times they were stressful and I could dream 'if' and 'for loops' in my sleep. Imagine a job where lives could be at risk on your decision calls. That is stressful. The same could be the case with advocates and stock traders etc who spend long stressful times at work. These folks are always thinking about work and they don't have time for other distractions to pursue. A good family atmosphere can alter this, but most medical folks marry within the profession leaving very little room for something else to discuss. Then there is a passion for what you do. Some people are very passionate about their work. Passion is good and necessary if you want to achieve excellence, but it can blind you to others windows of life.
The second part is the separation of Church from the State, I mean professional and private life. I don't think one can truly separate them. If things go bad on any one end, the other is affected. One has to be a machine to block one from the other. Besides people at work are humans after all and friendly relations can be forged with some of them. Every place I left, I took with me a good friend from whom I learned a lot professionally and stay in touch ever so often.
One can and should only strive to seek an optimum balance between work and home. One needs to keep your skills up to date to be competitive at work and also take care of the family so as to not worry about them at work. Taking a break like a vacation once in a while helps. Having hobbies and interests can be effective. Reading, gardening, watching TV and browsing works for me albeit that the latter two take too much of time that could be utilized for more constructive measures like blogging.
Happy July 4th to everyone and take some time off from work this weekend.
"The patient had tidal volume down. BP in control, prone ventilation, atrial fibrillation. On epinephrine, pco2 from 60 to 70. Oxygen in monitor at 50. ativan drip, saturation 50, heart rate 100, levofed 150. ARDS and can nothing if she is not responding. She has bed sores. She has AIDS, no WHITE blood cells in the body. Everyone is afraid to touch her for fear of worsening her condition."
This is a very typical conversation when these medical residents meet. It does not matter who else is around them. Their conversation does not go beyond their patients and the hospital settings. I have tried to steer them to other conversation like my favorite team Lakers winning the championship. What I call normal conversation (like everything other than work) is a rarity and is very short lived with these folks which could be testing while others (people not working in a medical profession) are around. I have gotten used to these conversations and actually am amused by their interest in the field. I am also sometimes shocked to hear certain things, but that is beyond the topic of this post.
I am a strong believer in having a private life outside of work. Meaning not to ignore work but there should be boundaries. When I leave work, my other life begins which is interrupted only when things are critical and stressful at work. This enables me to have other wise pursuits in life like watching TV and getting all the exciting world news from The Daily Show by Jon Stewart etc. I can hardly imagine a nerdy tech talk outside work which goes something like this
'The server load had exceeded leading to a network failure bringing the server down. The memory of 8Gigs was not sufficient. So we are trying to double that RAM. But the servers space is limited and server runs of 2000 which is way old. It is time to move to Windows 2008 with .Net framework 3.5 and last but not least it should at least have IIS 6.0. IP v6.0 would be nice but our entire server system has to be changed which is unlikely at this point. On top of it the vendor support is not so good. And the developers produce memory leaking software without any null checks causing the logs to be filled every weak with information about errors. No wonder the business is always behind doing data batch uploads to the database causing bandwidth strain on the database servers. BTW have you tried the new iPhone it is super cool and fast.'
This is the extent of my nerdy tech talk. I think most people familiar with computers can understand most of it but it still is associated with a server admin professional. I cannot have a conversation like that daily after work.
Having said all of this, there are couple questions that should be raised in this context.
1. Why do medical professionals (insert any other profession) invariably return to their work in a casual settings.
2. Can one truly separate Professional and Private life.
The causes for the first question could be multiple. One needs to understand the work setting. In the case of Medical Residents, they spend about 80 hours a week working at the hospital which is double the time a normal person spends at work. This means it takes away 40 valuable hours away from the medical professionals life which could be used for other pursuits outside work. Then there are the stress levels to consider. My job can hardly be considered stressful. There were times they were stressful and I could dream 'if' and 'for loops' in my sleep. Imagine a job where lives could be at risk on your decision calls. That is stressful. The same could be the case with advocates and stock traders etc who spend long stressful times at work. These folks are always thinking about work and they don't have time for other distractions to pursue. A good family atmosphere can alter this, but most medical folks marry within the profession leaving very little room for something else to discuss. Then there is a passion for what you do. Some people are very passionate about their work. Passion is good and necessary if you want to achieve excellence, but it can blind you to others windows of life.
The second part is the separation of Church from the State, I mean professional and private life. I don't think one can truly separate them. If things go bad on any one end, the other is affected. One has to be a machine to block one from the other. Besides people at work are humans after all and friendly relations can be forged with some of them. Every place I left, I took with me a good friend from whom I learned a lot professionally and stay in touch ever so often.
One can and should only strive to seek an optimum balance between work and home. One needs to keep your skills up to date to be competitive at work and also take care of the family so as to not worry about them at work. Taking a break like a vacation once in a while helps. Having hobbies and interests can be effective. Reading, gardening, watching TV and browsing works for me albeit that the latter two take too much of time that could be utilized for more constructive measures like blogging.
Happy July 4th to everyone and take some time off from work this weekend.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Expecting Parents FAQs
Should I Have one?
One of my friends posed this question 'Why have Kids?'. I could not answer it then, I don't have a right answer yet. That question never occurred to me. I just thought of it as a natural part of life. It was always a matter of when if not now. The question of when was answered with our planning of finances and career position. 'Should we?' was never raised. There was pressure from the grandparents and family but that did not alter our time frame. I could be philosophical about life being precious and that bringing one to the earth will be a right thing to do etc. But I am not philosophical. Now that my kid is here, she is a bundle of joy.
What does it cost?
This is a very touchy subject that raises a lot eyebrows and how dare he's. But the fact that kids cost a lot is a fact that one must be aware of before the plunge. From the day you know that your wife is pregnant, to the day the kids are independent and on their own, there are a lot of costs involved. I will summarize the immediate costs here and give a small estimate of what it might cost to raise one kid.
There will be monthly visits with your Obstetrician and in the ninth month there will be weekly visits. There will be 2-3 ultrasound scans of your wife for determining the wellness of your baby while inside. There might be emergency visits to the hospital. We had 3 emergency visits. One in the night and twice while she was at work. Luckily for my wife she works at a hospital and the emergency was a elevator button call away. But a good insurance is important. Find out what is covered and what is not. I have heard of scary stories where the bill came out to 25K etc. 25K might not be a lot for a few, but if you are an immigrant and just starting your life, it might mean a lot of debt for sometime. Some sites put the cost of delivery between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery. Of course this does not include other services like the suite, medication and health care in case of complications.
There will be stuff that you have buy for the infant baby that might cost 2K-3K depending on what and where you buy. I will list what to buy for the immediate few weeks and months later on. Then there is the cost of day care, play school, preschool, school, college education etc etc as they grow up. Here is a good summary of what it cost to have a baby. The calculator by the US Department of agriculture puts the annual cost of an infant at $20,500. The longer term cost to raise to the age of 17 at about 270K that's about $16K/annum. The first few years could be more expensive if you plan to have them in a day care or have a part-time/full-time nanny. Full time nanny can be $1500-$2500 out of your pocket. If you plan to fund their college education as most parents do add another 100K-150K. Basically what you could save towards your retirement would be channeled towards raising your kid.
What to buy before the kid is born?
I have listed the most items in the next section, but what I list here are other care giving matters.
Cord Blood Storage - If your family has a history of cancer or diabetes, you might consider storing Cord blood of your infant. Cord blood is the blood in the cord that could be collected at the time of delivery and stored for later usage. Cures to about 40 diseases have been found with stem blood. We have used Stembanc and it cost us about 2K including the registration and 20 years storage. There are other places like Cord Blood registry and Viacord that were expensive. It is kind of medical insurance. There are places where they do the storage for free but the blood stored there could be used for research purposes and could be used for other persons if the blood matches them. Utilizing private firms like Stembanc would ensure that your kids blood is saved for future in case your kid might need it.
The second thing is to find from the hospital your wife is scheduled for labor/c-section if they need a pediatrician appointed beforehand. Some insurance firms might need that your pediatrician be within your network etc.
Third but not least find from your insurance provider how and within what time frame you need to add your infant to your insurance plan. Typically the first month is covered under the mother's plan and you should add your kid to the plan within that time frame.
What to buy for infants?
It makes sense to start buying the items listed below a few months ahead of time as they list is quite big and procuring them is very time consuming. I bought most of the items from Walmart as I found them to be the cheapest and of same quality (many times same products at a far lower prices than Target or Babies R Us).
-----------
Tooling Around
_____Car seat - Infant Car Seat up to one year. You need a car seat to take your kid home. The nurse will come and inspect the safety of your car seat and I heard that they won't let your take your kid home unless you have a car seat. I was not sure about it but did not want to risk the safety of my kids. I bought Graco travel system.
_____Stroller -
_____Travel System - I bought Graco Travel system(carseat+stroller) for $155 at Walmart.
_____Booster seat for kids 20lbs and up. Not need to buy now. Could be bought later on when the kid is about to complete 12 months.
Beds and linens
_____Crib (if you plan to have a bassinet, you do not need this immediately)
_____Crib mattress. About $50-$70 at Walmart
_____Bassinet/cradle (if you don't want to put your baby in a crib right away. This could be good for only 3-6 months). $80 at Walmart
_____Two to three fitted crib sheets.
_____Four or more waffle-weave cotton receiving blankets for swaddling baby.
_____Two mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).
Swing/Rocker to make your infant sleep
_____Rocker - Fisher Price
_____Swing - Fisher Price
Diapers
_____Diapers. Disposables: One 40-count package of newborn (birth weight under 8 pounds) or of size 1 (birth weight over 8 pounds). Cloth: Two to three dozen, plus six to 10 snap-on, waterproof outer pants, and two to three sets of diaper pins, eight to 10 all-in-ones or diaper system covers;two to three dozen diaper system inserts. I bought a big box of Huggies containing 264 of them from Sam's club for $40.
_____Diaper pail (with refills or bags as needed).
_____Diaper bag.
Diaper Dispenser - Diaper Genie is one brand and you have buy the pail for storing used diapers.
Bathing/Grooming
_____Plastic infant bathtub. Summer bath tub spa from BabiesRUs for $30.
_____Three soft hooded towels.
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____Zinc-oxide-based diaper rash ointment.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent.
Extras: Nice but optional
_____Baby monitor.
_____Changing table - New one in target for $80.
_____Changing Pad - Babies R Us carries this for $30.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Sling or strap-on soft carrier. Walmart
_____Boppy, a Croissant-shaped pillow designed to make holding baby during breastfeeding or bottlefeeding easier. Bought it from Walmart $20. Very useful.
_____Nursing cover up. Attaches at your neck and allows for private breastfeeding when you and your baby are in public.
_____Infant swing - Fishcer Price Rain Forest in Amazon($112). Retail $140 in Babies R Us. If you are not buying Bassinet this is needed.
_____Bouncy seat/Bouncer.
_____Night-light. Any table lamb which is not brightly lit bulb would do. You don't want the kid in the dark, and you also want to sleep.
Some of these items could be bought at craigslist like the car seat and cribs. There is nothing wrong with that and do not feel guilty about doing that(like I did). Most parents are as careful as you and take good care of them.
Future Planning
529b plan for education.
I will add to this list as I learn my way along.
One of my friends posed this question 'Why have Kids?'. I could not answer it then, I don't have a right answer yet. That question never occurred to me. I just thought of it as a natural part of life. It was always a matter of when if not now. The question of when was answered with our planning of finances and career position. 'Should we?' was never raised. There was pressure from the grandparents and family but that did not alter our time frame. I could be philosophical about life being precious and that bringing one to the earth will be a right thing to do etc. But I am not philosophical. Now that my kid is here, she is a bundle of joy.
What does it cost?
This is a very touchy subject that raises a lot eyebrows and how dare he's. But the fact that kids cost a lot is a fact that one must be aware of before the plunge. From the day you know that your wife is pregnant, to the day the kids are independent and on their own, there are a lot of costs involved. I will summarize the immediate costs here and give a small estimate of what it might cost to raise one kid.
There will be monthly visits with your Obstetrician and in the ninth month there will be weekly visits. There will be 2-3 ultrasound scans of your wife for determining the wellness of your baby while inside. There might be emergency visits to the hospital. We had 3 emergency visits. One in the night and twice while she was at work. Luckily for my wife she works at a hospital and the emergency was a elevator button call away. But a good insurance is important. Find out what is covered and what is not. I have heard of scary stories where the bill came out to 25K etc. 25K might not be a lot for a few, but if you are an immigrant and just starting your life, it might mean a lot of debt for sometime. Some sites put the cost of delivery between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery. Of course this does not include other services like the suite, medication and health care in case of complications.
There will be stuff that you have buy for the infant baby that might cost 2K-3K depending on what and where you buy. I will list what to buy for the immediate few weeks and months later on. Then there is the cost of day care, play school, preschool, school, college education etc etc as they grow up. Here is a good summary of what it cost to have a baby. The calculator by the US Department of agriculture puts the annual cost of an infant at $20,500. The longer term cost to raise to the age of 17 at about 270K that's about $16K/annum. The first few years could be more expensive if you plan to have them in a day care or have a part-time/full-time nanny. Full time nanny can be $1500-$2500 out of your pocket. If you plan to fund their college education as most parents do add another 100K-150K. Basically what you could save towards your retirement would be channeled towards raising your kid.
What to buy before the kid is born?
I have listed the most items in the next section, but what I list here are other care giving matters.
Cord Blood Storage - If your family has a history of cancer or diabetes, you might consider storing Cord blood of your infant. Cord blood is the blood in the cord that could be collected at the time of delivery and stored for later usage. Cures to about 40 diseases have been found with stem blood. We have used Stembanc and it cost us about 2K including the registration and 20 years storage. There are other places like Cord Blood registry and Viacord that were expensive. It is kind of medical insurance. There are places where they do the storage for free but the blood stored there could be used for research purposes and could be used for other persons if the blood matches them. Utilizing private firms like Stembanc would ensure that your kids blood is saved for future in case your kid might need it.
The second thing is to find from the hospital your wife is scheduled for labor/c-section if they need a pediatrician appointed beforehand. Some insurance firms might need that your pediatrician be within your network etc.
Third but not least find from your insurance provider how and within what time frame you need to add your infant to your insurance plan. Typically the first month is covered under the mother's plan and you should add your kid to the plan within that time frame.
What to buy for infants?
It makes sense to start buying the items listed below a few months ahead of time as they list is quite big and procuring them is very time consuming. I bought most of the items from Walmart as I found them to be the cheapest and of same quality (many times same products at a far lower prices than Target or Babies R Us).
-----------
Tooling Around
_____Car seat - Infant Car Seat up to one year. You need a car seat to take your kid home. The nurse will come and inspect the safety of your car seat and I heard that they won't let your take your kid home unless you have a car seat. I was not sure about it but did not want to risk the safety of my kids. I bought Graco travel system.
_____Stroller -
_____Travel System - I bought Graco Travel system(carseat+stroller) for $155 at Walmart.
_____Booster seat for kids 20lbs and up. Not need to buy now. Could be bought later on when the kid is about to complete 12 months.
Beds and linens
_____Crib (if you plan to have a bassinet, you do not need this immediately)
_____Crib mattress. About $50-$70 at Walmart
_____Bassinet/cradle (if you don't want to put your baby in a crib right away. This could be good for only 3-6 months). $80 at Walmart
_____Two to three fitted crib sheets.
_____Four or more waffle-weave cotton receiving blankets for swaddling baby.
_____Two mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).
Swing/Rocker to make your infant sleep
_____Rocker - Fisher Price
_____Swing - Fisher Price
Diapers
_____Diapers. Disposables: One 40-count package of newborn (birth weight under 8 pounds) or of size 1 (birth weight over 8 pounds). Cloth: Two to three dozen, plus six to 10 snap-on, waterproof outer pants, and two to three sets of diaper pins, eight to 10 all-in-ones or diaper system covers;two to three dozen diaper system inserts. I bought a big box of Huggies containing 264 of them from Sam's club for $40.
_____Diaper pail (with refills or bags as needed).
_____Diaper bag.
Diaper Dispenser - Diaper Genie is one brand and you have buy the pail for storing used diapers.
Bathing/Grooming
_____Plastic infant bathtub. Summer bath tub spa from BabiesRUs for $30.
_____Three soft hooded towels.
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____Zinc-oxide-based diaper rash ointment.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent.
Extras: Nice but optional
_____Baby monitor.
_____Changing table - New one in target for $80.
_____Changing Pad - Babies R Us carries this for $30.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Sling or strap-on soft carrier. Walmart
_____Boppy, a Croissant-shaped pillow designed to make holding baby during breastfeeding or bottlefeeding easier. Bought it from Walmart $20. Very useful.
_____Nursing cover up. Attaches at your neck and allows for private breastfeeding when you and your baby are in public.
_____Infant swing - Fishcer Price Rain Forest in Amazon($112). Retail $140 in Babies R Us. If you are not buying Bassinet this is needed.
_____Bouncy seat/Bouncer.
_____Night-light. Any table lamb which is not brightly lit bulb would do. You don't want the kid in the dark, and you also want to sleep.
Some of these items could be bought at craigslist like the car seat and cribs. There is nothing wrong with that and do not feel guilty about doing that(like I did). Most parents are as careful as you and take good care of them.
Future Planning
529b plan for education.
I will add to this list as I learn my way along.
Labels:
Life,
New Parents,
Parenthood
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Introducing the New Alla
June 2, 2009 12:41:12 PM. That is the time when our precious little one was born. I want to share some of my experiences and old wives tales of the wise people in determining the sex and others. I will also try to answer some of the most commonly asked question from friends and folks at work.
We were hoping to have a baby a little later in the year when my wife would be in her last year of residency. The schedule for third year residents tends to be easy. But our baby decided to come a few months early.
To confirm the pregnancy, we tested thrice with pregnancy kits from the Pharmacy stores. The first two were inconclusive. We thought that the cycle was just delayed. A couple weeks later we tried one more time and the kit this time confirmed it. My wife panicked as she was not prepared for all that is going to happen. Most of all she was worried that she had to upset the schedule at work and thereby causing inconvenience to her colleagues. With due persuasion from me, and our first visit with our family physician(who also happens to be her Program Director) her worries subsided and we scheduled our first appointment with our OBGYN doctor. We were confirmed of our expectancy and we were elated.
The First trimester and the first month of the Second Trimester were testing times, especially for my wife. She had severe morning sickness and those mornings lasted 16 hours for her. There were couple days where she was admitted to the emergency due to dehydration from the morning sickness. She was persistent, strong and continued her work. She also managed to reschedule all her overnight calls to the second trimester. That turned out to be very helpful. Having my Mother-in-Law with us is also a positive thing. She was there when my wife needed her support during the tough period. As for me, the only thing I went through was the usual stuff - am I ready for this, can I handle it, were we jumping ahead of ourselves, are we financially stable enough to make this plunge. I did not let my wife know these thoughts then. But all those concerns do not worry me anymore.
The second trimester was relatively easier one for us all. We knew it was a girl on our second scan. We were excited as I always wanted my first baby to be a girl. The good times lasted only a few weeks. She started having severe back pains and other discomforts. We had to get back our Mother-In-Law so we could manage at home. The third trimester was the middle ground, it was better than the first but worse than the second. The baby got heavier and my wife could barely walk. Her work kept her on her feet most of the time which was unlike my job which keeps me on my bottom most of the time. We felt we should have switched jobs just for the few months.
Here are some of old wives tales, we came across, that tried to predict the sex and when the baby was going to be delivered. If the morning sickness last long it's a Girl. Turned out to be true. If you see the back and can tell if the lady is pregnant then it's going to be a girl, otherwise a boy. This prediction turned out false in our case. The story behind this is that the Girls will have a round belly, while boys will have a big front belly. My wife had a front belly and not so round one. Then there is this one. Boys will be less active all along the pregnancy period, not troubling the mom and become very active the last few weeks. They also come out early(< 39 weeks). The girls on the hand provide all sorts of discomfort to the mother and are highly active in their movements during the pregnancy period. But girls feel cozy and not so active during the last few weeks. They also take longer to come out(39+ weeks). Also get this, apparently if the kid is born in the day, they sleep mostly in the day and not so much during the night and vice versa. This means trouble to us as our kid was born almost mid day(12:41:12 PM).
We named our kid Poorvaja Maala. Poorvaja according to Hindu Epic books means 'One who preceded everyone' or 'One who was born before everyone' from whom everyone else came. Maala is the middle name of my kid named after our grandma Maha Lakshmi. Took Ma and La from her name and joined them - Maala means garland.
The week before the delivery, I started reading the book 'Hot, Flat and Crowded' by Thomas L. Friedman. I dropped it after a few chapters into the book, as I could not take the patronizing attitude of the author. I am a beneficiary of the flat world and I was welcoming a new life to this hot world. When my kid is sleeping on my shoulder, when her cheek caresses the cove of my neck, the world doesn't seem crowded at all. Malthusian economics - forget about it.
Photos Here
Video - Work in Progress
FAQs Here
But the amazing part of all this experience is that the transition from a carefree person to a slow going, caring, over sensitive guy happens the moment the kid is placed in your hands. All credit goes to our Sweety(Granmom's nick name)
We were hoping to have a baby a little later in the year when my wife would be in her last year of residency. The schedule for third year residents tends to be easy. But our baby decided to come a few months early.
To confirm the pregnancy, we tested thrice with pregnancy kits from the Pharmacy stores. The first two were inconclusive. We thought that the cycle was just delayed. A couple weeks later we tried one more time and the kit this time confirmed it. My wife panicked as she was not prepared for all that is going to happen. Most of all she was worried that she had to upset the schedule at work and thereby causing inconvenience to her colleagues. With due persuasion from me, and our first visit with our family physician(who also happens to be her Program Director) her worries subsided and we scheduled our first appointment with our OBGYN doctor. We were confirmed of our expectancy and we were elated.
The First trimester and the first month of the Second Trimester were testing times, especially for my wife. She had severe morning sickness and those mornings lasted 16 hours for her. There were couple days where she was admitted to the emergency due to dehydration from the morning sickness. She was persistent, strong and continued her work. She also managed to reschedule all her overnight calls to the second trimester. That turned out to be very helpful. Having my Mother-in-Law with us is also a positive thing. She was there when my wife needed her support during the tough period. As for me, the only thing I went through was the usual stuff - am I ready for this, can I handle it, were we jumping ahead of ourselves, are we financially stable enough to make this plunge. I did not let my wife know these thoughts then. But all those concerns do not worry me anymore.
The second trimester was relatively easier one for us all. We knew it was a girl on our second scan. We were excited as I always wanted my first baby to be a girl. The good times lasted only a few weeks. She started having severe back pains and other discomforts. We had to get back our Mother-In-Law so we could manage at home. The third trimester was the middle ground, it was better than the first but worse than the second. The baby got heavier and my wife could barely walk. Her work kept her on her feet most of the time which was unlike my job which keeps me on my bottom most of the time. We felt we should have switched jobs just for the few months.
Here are some of old wives tales, we came across, that tried to predict the sex and when the baby was going to be delivered. If the morning sickness last long it's a Girl. Turned out to be true. If you see the back and can tell if the lady is pregnant then it's going to be a girl, otherwise a boy. This prediction turned out false in our case. The story behind this is that the Girls will have a round belly, while boys will have a big front belly. My wife had a front belly and not so round one. Then there is this one. Boys will be less active all along the pregnancy period, not troubling the mom and become very active the last few weeks. They also come out early(< 39 weeks). The girls on the hand provide all sorts of discomfort to the mother and are highly active in their movements during the pregnancy period. But girls feel cozy and not so active during the last few weeks. They also take longer to come out(39+ weeks). Also get this, apparently if the kid is born in the day, they sleep mostly in the day and not so much during the night and vice versa. This means trouble to us as our kid was born almost mid day(12:41:12 PM).
We named our kid Poorvaja Maala. Poorvaja according to Hindu Epic books means 'One who preceded everyone' or 'One who was born before everyone' from whom everyone else came. Maala is the middle name of my kid named after our grandma Maha Lakshmi. Took Ma and La from her name and joined them - Maala means garland.
The week before the delivery, I started reading the book 'Hot, Flat and Crowded' by Thomas L. Friedman. I dropped it after a few chapters into the book, as I could not take the patronizing attitude of the author. I am a beneficiary of the flat world and I was welcoming a new life to this hot world. When my kid is sleeping on my shoulder, when her cheek caresses the cove of my neck, the world doesn't seem crowded at all. Malthusian economics - forget about it.
Photos Here
Video - Work in Progress
FAQs Here
But the amazing part of all this experience is that the transition from a carefree person to a slow going, caring, over sensitive guy happens the moment the kid is placed in your hands. All credit goes to our Sweety(Granmom's nick name)
Labels:
Life,
New Parents,
Parenthood
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