Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Friendly Neighbourhood Bummerman

I have been thinking of writing about this man that I see several times week ever since I joined my current client. I park my car about 4 blocks from the building that I work now. About a block north of my work building is a Bridge and underneath the bridge, which is part of a huge parking lot, is the home of this middle aged man I had mentioned earlier.

Imagine this - The story is that of a comic strip super hero. The season is peak winter where it is snowing about 2 to 3 days a week for about 6 inches. Read the following with a baritone of a western movie opening - When the weather is cold, the roads are slippery, all hope of a smooth walk wades and good grip on a shoe can't help, here comes the friendly neighborhood bummerman who will clean the pavement for you and sprinkle salt so to make your commute to work easy.

As you might have guessed I stole the phrase from Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman. I like Spiderman who doesn’t?

This guy is a bum who had made his home under the bridge for quite sometime now. But he is no ordinary Bum. If you have been to Philadelphia or New York you cannot escape the sight of these people - the Bums. The only emotion on seeing these guys is fear and suspicion. The other thing is the stench which makes you run from them fast and a mile far. But they are present everywhere and you wish you had no nose as you keep encountering them every other block or two. After a while you get used to their presence as they become familiar faces. This man is one such familiar face.

But this guy other than his way of living and style of dressing (if I can call it a style) is a regular guy. He is very sociable and social conscious. He keeps the half block under the bridge really clean and well maintained. He cleans away the snow in winter and sprinkles salt. In fact he does the job that the Philadelphia City must be doing and he does it regularly and better than them. As for being sociable, I have seen him talk to different commuters who park their car in the parking lot under the bridge and are on their way to work or back from work. He seems to have a good following among the fairer sex especially.

But this is only a part of the story. The other part is what I can see of his belongings on the other side of the cage partition of the parking lot. He has a lot of books and they are no ordinary books. Most of them are undergraduate school books ranging from sciences, mathematics to finance and marketing. He also has a pile of new National Geographic as if he has a subscription delivered to his door.

No he does not have the regular free news paper metro that other Bums use to make it their beds. In fact I saw no traces of news paper. He has a pile of clothes and bedding on one side. I once saw a huge set of dumbbells as well and other hardware set like nuts, bolts, screws etc. I have no idea where he gets them and where they go after a week or so. He always refurnishes his home with new decor.

I have seen him read books most of the time when he is not chatting with people or when he is not cleaning the pavement and his home. I saw him read books related to finance and marketing most of the time. I have also seems some books placed a little far away from him home on the pavement as if to suggest the books could be taken away by anyone interested. Most of them get washed away by rain or gets trashed. Who wants used books and one read by a Bum anyway?

I couldn't help notice the title of this book on his pile this morning - 'How to save money, Smart'. I smiled a bit at the irony of his life and book he was reading. I thought it is a little bit too late for him to be smart with money now. If he was smart with Money during his early days he wouldn't have been in this situation, I judged because he was normal by all other means.

But as I was discussing this guy with my other colleagues and they had noticed him too. His mention lead to huge discussion about the merits of his lifestyle. He does not have to pay rent nor taxes. He does not need car to commute as he begs for stuff right there at the parking lot. His commute to work is zero minutes. He does not catch the eye of the officials by being friendly to the people and cleaning up the pavement regularly. It is less likely that one reports a Bum living under a bridge when he helps them from getting hurt. No burden of family and he has the house for all himself.

In fact one of my colleagues from NJ mentioned about how he noticed a bum who carried a monthly pass to New York City daily. He would be in bum’s attire in the morning and in the evening he would have a regular wear like anybody else. The bum’s attire was his work wear and being a bum in New York was his profession. He must have been making quite well to have monthly pass to NY City from South Jersey.

I guess our Philadelphia friendly neighborhood bummerman was really reading an appropriate book and living the life of the book title.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Why I went natural?

This is the story of how I turned from using regular sugar to natural sugar aka honey. Here is how it went.

Once upon a time there lived a gentleman who was happy having his occasional coffee with regular sugar. He was healthy and had BWI of 21 so to say he did not need artificial sugars nor did he like them. In fact he hated the taste they had and also the fact that they had side effects.

His lifestyle changed a bit after he married and moved to Scranton. He had to travel once a week to Philadelphia which was about 2:45 hrs one way. So to reach his office in Philadelphia by 9:00 AM he would start at around 6:00AM and in order to do that he had to wake up at 5:00AM. So that is quite early for this lazy, wake up at 8:00AM, casual person. His life turned upside down with this but he found a partner in caffeine.

Being an avaricious reader, he found that too much caffeine is bad and found that Tea is a better alternative as it has lower Caffeine and has antioxidants that are good for his allergies. So he began to drink Tea instead of coffee. But this habit turned out not so good to his young bride who loved her sleep a lot more than he does.

He pleads to his wife to make his Tea on the day of his journey. She abides to his request despite her love for sleep. But the story does not end there. If you remember the story is about how he went natural. Well here is what happened next.

The first day she made Tea she used Sweet N Low. Being a nit picker he instantly recognized the taste of non cane artificial sugar. Not only did the sugar taste differently, but he could taste nothing but sugar. It was as if he was drinking High Fructose Corn Syrup. What happened was she used about 5 packs of Sweet N Low in an
8oz Tea.

He got rid of all the Sweet N Low that got into his home accidentally. This made him feel that all will be fine despite his hardships now that he will have his good caffeine friend for company. Not so fast said his wife non-verbally.

The next time around he found himself drinking an exotic tea that could be found nowhere on earth. He had tasted all kinds of tea including black tea with no sugar. But he was drinking a Double Salted Tea this time. In her sleepish nonchalance she had used two spoons of salt from the container next to the sugar. If she was awake, she would have noticed the blue/black cover with a girl in yellow frock carrying an umbrella. She did notice nothing of that sort. All she saw was salt was white and she knew sugar was white.

Now the worried king (in his dreamland) wondered how he can fix this. He was not willing to make the tea himself. He had lots of other things to take care of that morning the important of which is getting up at 5:00AM which he would snooze to wake up at 5:30AM from when he would be like a chicken with it's head cut out. Nor does he have the extra 10 Min's to take a break at the service plaza for coffee.

So he decided that only way is to find something that was not sugar but sweet. He was watching TV one evening while thinking for a solution. He was watching Seinfeld his all-time favorite show and during break they had a clip of an interview with Jerry Seinfeld the writer/producer of the show. He was talking about his break since the show became syndicated and was promoting his new movie where he provides a voice over to the prime character. The name of the move - Bee Movie.

All those who say TV is an idiot box are nuts he thought. A solution to his problem stung like a Bee. He put on his shoe, took his jacket and went out to his favorite store the mighty Wal-Mart. He went to the cereal aisle and bought himself an 8lb Honey bottle.

He called his dear life mate and said sweetly....
HONEY! use this HONEY!!!!

They lived naturally ever after.